ENN Gossip Blog

Threatening legal action over being called out on your substance abuse problems Anumia? I was wondering when Europeia would get its Rob Ford :lol:
 
Give this man a break and don't toss him out! He's a great President!

And as long as he's in the headlines no one will talk about the deal I made with the Columbians for coffee and the hours-long seminars I hold with my all-female staffers
 
Kraketopia refuses to let go?

Sources from inside the Goldenblock have indicated that former President Kraketopia has been putting intense pressure on the new government to adhere to his endless list of "suggestions" for the administration.

"It's an absolute nightmare," a night janitor says after wiping his mouth from a swig of "Release the Kraken" Black Spiced Rum, "He calls every hour, interrupts meetings, and orders President Malashaan to adhere to his will. Worse still, Malashaan doesn't have the back bone to stop him. We've kicked him out a few times, but usually Malashaan just goes along with it."

Things have gone from bad to worse, with many junior Goldenblock officials saying that Kraketopia spends a great deal of time "working on navy stuff" from the Oval Office in the Goldenblock, and more than passively suggesting that Malashaan can use his office in the Octagon.

"I haven't seen President Malashaan in weeks," a recently terminated 5-week intern told ENN, "Nobody who works here would even know that we elected a new President."

ENN attempted to reach President Malashaan for comment, but decided it might be best to just ask Kraketopia instead.
 
He likes to have all his tentacles in all the different honey pots.
 
Writinglegend Boosting Government Property?

Reports have surfaced that President Writinglegend has been stealing ancient Europeian artifacts from the Goldenblock. The building's main foyer, once decorated with a collection of portraits from the monarchy, now boast only scans of Chief Justice Drecq's photocopied hindquarters.

"It is truly a tragedy," says Europeian historian Hist O'Ry, "Some of those pieces were priceless based on their historical value. The region has lost so much."

But why is the President himself under fire for this heist?

"I saw them," a EuroPizza delivery boy told ENN as one of our corespondents slipped him a twenty dollar bill, "I was delivering a pizza with no cheese and extra red peppers to President Writinglegend's private residence. When the President opened the door, I saw piles upon piles of pictures like [reading off a card], one of Pinapleboy on a royal steed, and one with Lord Alphon [pauses] esia, signing a very old document."

ENN has repeatedly tried to call the Goldenblock for comment, but we have only reached a Thai takeout restaurant. A former janitorial intern informed ENN, however, that, "President Writinglegend told me personally that he wasn't stealing the art, but that I shouldn't look for it in his living room."

An already underperforming government appears to be beleaguered in scandal. It is too easy to tell whether Writinglegend will be able to weather the storm.
 
IMPEACH
 
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