EPISODE 3
Double-Stuffed Episode
Hello, audience! My name is Gustavus Adolphus Rex, I am so addicted to Coca-Cola it's not even funny, and this is Cute, Win, Fail! The formerly a blog and now a kids' TV show brought to you by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting[1]- oops, I mean the Europeian Broadcasting Corporation- where three Europeian posts compete to become the most:
Last week, you saw an Anumia Incest Cute from Anumia and Earth22, a 90s Image Win from Henry, and a Baby Windowsill Fail from Abbey Anumia. Your unbelievable amount of hanging chads have been appealed to the Supreme Court by Al Gore and the MOST EPIC EUROPEIAN POST EVER (of last week) is:
Henry's 90s Image Win!
It's simply too epic to be even shown as an image here, so here's the linky:
http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/90s.jpg
Congratulations, Henry! You get this clipart image as a prize!
Sorry other two posts! You must be sacrificed to appease the angry forum gods!!!! *The two posts are "accidentally" dropped into a volcano!* That's gonna hurt in the morning!
Now let's drop these next FIVE posts onto a deserted island for 39 days to see who will have it what it takes to survive! Yes, you heard me- there will be an extra Win and an extra Fail this episode! GASPS! Our first post comes from Rachel McAdams- I mean the Europeian Rachel lawl- who started the topic New NS Daughter off with:
"I'd like to announce that Silver Steps is now the NS daughter of PASD and myself.
hyper.gif hyper.gif"
She should probably have also announced that those two smileys ate waaaay too much sugar this morning and showed up to work that morning high.
But I'm calling this a:
I mean come on, Rachel McAdams! Nice choice of an avatar!
Oh, and PASD and Rachel are absolutely adorable together, and the addition of a BABY...! :wub: That basically overloads my cute-o-meter! Our next post is the first:
This comes from HEM, who posted this here Presidential Approval Rating poll of Oliver Dion-Grey with the words "Have at it."
And we did, with one of us giving him 100% approval, seven voting 90%, seven voting 80%, two voting 70%, four voting 60%, one voting 50%, and two people daring to vote 0% who afterwards wandered into a dark alley and were never seen again.
evil.gif But anyway, this means a lot of people approve of the job Oliver Twist has been doing so far as President of Europeia. And I think that's partly because he presidentificated over our next:
This goes out to all of the tireless (and probably caffeinated beyond belief) recruiters in Europeia who helped get our power level up to OVER ONE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND NATIONS! Yeah babe-eh, you know that's right!
Soon, world domination will be ours! :lol:Then mberg5472 had to ruin it by starting a topic called A piece of news!, where he said:
"Hello fellow members of Europeia!
I have an offer to make. We are all here because of various reasons, wether we love politics, or love simulations we are still present here.
I haven't been a member of Europeia very long, but I can already tell everyone here that is active within the forums has talent!
Therefore I would love it if all of you could take the time and check out this other RPG I play as well as Nationstates. It is called City Empires. www.cityempires.net
I just created a new country and need new citizens! This could be a way for us to make a stronger friendship!
Please join today. Reply to this post if your interested. I'll help you join and help you play! Contact me today! I play as the city of Miami in the game.
I would love it if I could have trusted members from Europeia playing in my country on city empires!"
A piece of news? More like a piece of shit advertising! :angry:
Anumia said in reply, "Oh, this isn't going to end well..."
Hmmm, no kidding, you think? If by not ending well you mean we get to throw rocks at this idiot, then yeah, I'm up for it.
h43r:To which Fortana fortana-tuitously added, "And some people say the Europeian Nationalism Act was foolish
." That's a little mini-win for you right there.And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...sick him, Lethen!
"We don't really appreciate people advertising other games here in Europeia...and why did you choose this forum of all places?"
Ohhhh, ownified! And it looks you get a nice, juicy...
...sandwich. That's slathered in humiliation sauce with a side of newbie. Need I say anything more?
Actually, I will, because is up next is our final post for this week, a topic from Anumia called Ugh. Here, he declares:
"So, it turns out my brother is tone-deaf. Or tone-mute. No, must be tone-deaf. Otherwise he would hear how far off-key he is and how he can't even hold those butchered notes and SHUT THE HELL UP.
It also turns out that he's been singing repetitive songs at a loud volume throughout the night and all morning (it's now past midday). I've been trying to sleep before the night shift at work while he's been either destroying songs I once liked, or imprinting techno beat songs that have one line of lyrics repeated for four minutes onto my suffering consciousness.
Also, my eyes have been stinging whenever I close them, -because- I'm tired. ...and it's hot.
...but mostly, the issue is that ten feet outside my sound-permitting door and walls is the greatest argument for the existence of Satan.
AA, you know where to aim. Clean shot between the eyes please. *sits still and waits*
-_-"
Unfortunately for the supporters of the economy, AA decided not to end Anumia's misery. :lol: Oh, and, Anumia's brother, whoever you are, you may suck at singing big time, but you have my sympathies. ^_^ I often have been consternated by my family for beng horrible when I'm singing along to the car radio. Maybe we can start a Failed Singers Anonymous support group together, with you as the founder.
Nah, never mind, I take that back. I mean, you chose techno! Even if you didn't screw those beats left, right, and center, they would STILL stink. At least start with songs that are more appropriate for your skill level, like, oh, I don't know, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? But until you become a great singer, enjoy your:
T-t-t-that's all for this show, folks! So, which one was the most EPIC?! Was it the NS Baby Cute by Rachel Not-McAdams, the Oliver Twist Poll Win by Oliver Dion-Grey, the Over 1000 Nations Win by Europeian recruiters, the Piece of Shit Advertising Fail, or the Anumia's Brother Singing Fail by Anumia? Post your vote in the comments and tune in next week to see who won! Gustavus Adolphus Rex out!
[1]Anyone who watched PBS as a kid and obsessively memorized the end funding credits like I did knows what I'm talking about.