Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Issue 4 of Europeia's best news source has some surprising news for you - the return of an institution many thought to be long gone.
Europeia Returns to Party Politics?
Yesterday, many people were shocked to discover that Supreme Chancellor HEM and a handful of other members had founded a brand new political party, one that called itself the Europeian Expansionist Party. More on the name later. But there was undoubtedly a certain degree of shock, as many people had said political parties were purposeless and their time in the Europeian electorate had long since passed.
However, speculation has come around that the return of party politics is just what Europeia's been missing lately - the return of the party.
That's right, readers. HEM and company are making a dedicated effort not just to get elected and to further their political machinations, but to imbibe lots of booze and trash somebody's house on a regular basis. The EEP's goals are largely based around changing the way Foreign Affairs works, and as such some of their secondary goals are to get piss drunk with as many regional leaders as humanly possible and to see how long WA Security Council mainstay Unibot can do a keg stand for.
New Expansionist Party Definitely Not Expansionist At All
To corroborate the previous story, the creators of the newfound EEP were definitely drunk when they formed the idea and the manifesto for it. If you haven't read the manifesto, you don't really need to. TL;DR - more people should know who we are, because more friends means better friends.
The wrinkle in the name, of course, is that to be expansionist means that a region wants to impose its will on the world at large through material and spatial expansion. Historically, this is what expansionism has been. However, conquering regions and claiming them as our own and using our military as a tool for imposing our will on our enemies are not part of the manifesto at all. Rather, HEM goes on to say that bullying, imperialism, and unnecessary bureaucracy [something that has nothing to do with anything] are decidedly "not expansionist", because apparently the entirety of world and NS history disagreeing with you on the definition of a word makes it okay to change how you use it.
More apropos suggestions for the name of this [un]Expansionist Party include the "Europeian Self-Esteem Is Proportional To The Number Of Embassies We Have Party", the "Europeian Party For Better Interregional Marketing", and the "Getting Crunk Around The Clock Party". We shall see whether or not new members and new ideas influence the direction of this party, and how, in the near future.
