[SATIRE] Senator Forilian Injured After Gates Slammed on Him in the Oval Room

Forilian

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ARNHELM -- Senator Forilian has been sent to hospital after injuries sustained by having the gates in the Oval Room slammed on him earlier this morning. The outgoing Senator had decided to stand for re-election minutes before the General election opened, and was busy drafting up a platform as he ran to the Oval Room to submit his candidacy. Unfortunately for him, the Senator was too late; Vice Chancellor Sanjurika was pulling down the gates of the Oval Room by the time he arrived. Undeterred, Senator Forilian threw himself into the Oval Room. Unfortunately, the gate slammed down on his hand. Although it is unknown at this time what injuries the Senator sustained, he was sent to hospital as a precaution.

CCTV footage at the Oval Room shows that the Senator did not manage to get his candidacy papers into the Oval Room until three nanoseconds after the gates closed, signifying the beginning of the election. Thus, Forilian's candidacy was disqualified. When asked for comment, Senator Forilian simply replied "Ow." A representative from Senator Forilian's office says that the Senator is not considering a challenge on his disqualification, but is considering suing the Chancellery for assault and battery.

A Real Newspaper wishes the Senator best of luck in his recovery.

In other news, Senate vote-counters have filed an injunction to prevent the Weighted Vote Amendment (2023) from passing, on the grounds that it would cause undue strain on their backs from having to carry around heavily-weighted votes. If passed, the Amendment proposed by Senator PhDre could see ballots up to 500kg in weight employed in the Senate.

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In other news, Senate vote-counters have filed an injunction to prevent the Weighted Vote Amendment (2023) from passing, on the grounds that it would cause undue strain on their backs from having to carry around heavily-weighted votes. If passed, the Amendment proposed by Senator PhDre could see ballots up to 500kg in weight employed in the Senate.
Okay this last bit got me
 
In other news, Senate vote-counters have filed an injunction to prevent the Weighted Vote Amendment (2023) from passing, on the grounds that it would cause undue strain on their backs from having to carry around heavily-weighted votes. If passed, the Amendment proposed by Senator PhDre could see ballots up to 500kg in weight employed in the Senate.
Okay this last bit got me
You could say it was a heavy-hitting joke :p
 
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