[SATIRE] Pundits, Citizens In Shock After Unexpected 52-48 Stronghold Victory

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OFFICE OF PUBLIC REFERENDA, ARNHELM -- Europeia remains in shock after the historic referendum on the region's stance for the upcoming Frontier/Stronghold update resulted in an unexpected, if close, victory for the Stronghold side. Previous polling had indicated a strong lead for the Frontier camp, with the last poll conducted before polls opened indicating a 63-35 lead for Frontier. Preliminary results have indicated, however, that Stronghold will prevail 52-48.

Both experts and citizens have expressed shock at the results. When interviewed, North Arnhelm resident David Smith expressed that he voted Stronghold "as a joke," and never thought that it would pass. "I mean, everyone and their mum was saying that Stronghold would never win, so I voted it just for kicks -- how did it win??" In an email to ARN, University of Europeia political science professor Dr. Sally Potter wrote that, "although this result is unexpected, I urge Europeians to stay calm -- Stronghold will pose little to no changes to Europeia, and for the most part your day-to-day lives will be the same."

The Frontier Association for a Caring Europeia (FACE) has called for a recount, and, if that does not result in a Frontier Europeia, a second referendum. "Europeians deserve another chance at determining their future. I personally know of many people who voted Stronghold, but whose votes did not actually align with their preference. It would be undemocratic to not have another vote," said FACE's spokesperson. The Stronghold Organised Society (SOS), on the other hand, has praised the result as "a victory for all Europeians."

The unexpected result has also thrown presidential campaigns into disarray. ARN's inside sources have been told that all tickets planning on running had "no real plan for a Stronghold Europeia" as Frontier was the strong favourite to win. Presidential candidates have reportedly begun "emergency brainstorm sessions" to design plans for Europeian policy under a Stronghold, with one candidate planning to simply scribble out all mentions of the word "Frontier" and replace it with "Stronghold" on their platform. Currently, no tickets have yet stood for the election scheduled for 31 March.

In other news, Grand Admiral Istillian has caused over €30 million in damage to the ERN's flag ship, the ERNS Kieranbannen, after his gravity hook (used to keep him tethered to the ground) accidentally punctured the ship's hull, causing the ship to nearly sink to the bottom of the Lethen Sea.

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Grand Admiral Istillian has caused over €30 million in damage to the ERN's flag ship, the ERNS Kieranbannen
It's nothing that the good citizens of Europeia aren't willing to pay for out of their hard earned taxes, right?
 
Grand Admiral Istillian has caused over €30 million in damage to the ERN's flag ship, the ERNS Kieranbannen
It's nothing that the good citizens of Europeia aren't willing to pay for out of their hard earned taxes, right?
That would explain the 450 million earmarked on the Europeian budget for "Grand Admiral Expense Account"... 🤔
 
called for a recount, and, if that does not result in a Frontier Europeia, a second referendum. "Europeians deserve another chance at determining their future.
What is this, Brexit? Lol!
 
We should arrogantly demand a "people's vote" as if the only result that matters is the one we like!!
 
In other news, Grand Admiral Istillian has caused over €30 million in damage to the ERN's flag ship, the ERNS Kieranbannen, after his gravity hook (used to keep him tethered to the ground) accidentally punctured the ship's hull, causing the ship to nearly sink to the bottom of the Lethen Sea.
I'm fairly sure the ship's name is actually the ERNS Kieranbottom, think you made a mistake there.
 
In other news, Grand Admiral Istillian has caused over €30 million in damage to the ERN's flag ship, the ERNS Kieranbannen, after his gravity hook (used to keep him tethered to the ground) accidentally punctured the ship's hull, causing the ship to nearly sink to the bottom of the Lethen Sea.
I'm fairly sure the ship's name is actually the ERNS Kieranbottom, think you made a mistake there.
That is the ERN's other flagship, but this incident only concerns the ERNS Kieranbannen and not the other, equally aptly-named, ERNS Kieranbottom. We apologise for any confusion this may cause -- the ERN had a lot of fun with naming their ships in the Kieran- series!
 
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