- Pronouns
- He/Him
HOLY COURT OF HEM, ARNHELM- The Minister of Radio, Calvin Coolidge, has been sentenced to being burned at the stake after he was found guilty of witchcraft.
The charges were first filed by Sopo, who found that Mr Coolidge’s status on the forum was “Spellcaster”. In a long list of accusations, Calvin Coolidge was blamed for, among other things: The bad harvest of Europeian farmers this year, Senate Speaker Lloenflys wanting to bang his head against the wall in a suit, Lloenflys becoming dehydrated, the Drewpocalypse, HEM, and Lethen’s failure to ping anyone on the 24th of June, 2018.
Mr Coolidge’s Senate seat is currently being deputised by GraV, his Minister of Radio position by Monkey, and his Pope position by Sopo, who has just resigned.
In other news, doctors are having to splash water in Senate Speaker Lloenflys’ face to stop him from getting dehydrated.
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The charges were first filed by Sopo, who found that Mr Coolidge’s status on the forum was “Spellcaster”. In a long list of accusations, Calvin Coolidge was blamed for, among other things: The bad harvest of Europeian farmers this year, Senate Speaker Lloenflys wanting to bang his head against the wall in a suit, Lloenflys becoming dehydrated, the Drewpocalypse, HEM, and Lethen’s failure to ping anyone on the 24th of June, 2018.
Mr Coolidge’s Senate seat is currently being deputised by GraV, his Minister of Radio position by Monkey, and his Pope position by Sopo, who has just resigned.
In other news, doctors are having to splash water in Senate Speaker Lloenflys’ face to stop him from getting dehydrated.
———————————————————————————————————
This is a satirical piece. If you would like to join A Real Newspaper, please contact me.
A REAL NEWSPAPER- EUROPEIA’S FINEST NEWS SOURCE