Presidential Election Update

The following is a rough draft update for the first update of this term. It's a brief explanation of the recent elections and it's candidates. I'm not exactly sure it's as snappy or snazzy as was requested, but let's see what we can do with it. MinComm out.




It's always exciting and a little scary to see a first time President elected and this most recent election was no different. The Presidency was up for grabs by one of three potential first timers. Each has spent extensive time serving in the Cabinet or Senate. It was a close race, but we have determined our next President. Let's take a closer look at the race, it's participants and the people who made it great: you, the Citizens.

Our first Candidate and victor was none other than Cerian Quilor. Cerian is a long time member of Europeia, having served for just over two years. Cerian had resigned himself to a dead political career within the Region until he was asked to serve as the Minister of Foreign Affairs under President Swakistek. Showing how quickly things can change here in Europeia, he's found himself President of the Region!

Seven Deaths, the next candidate, is now spending his sixth consecutive term in the Cabinet under President Quilor. He's a capable member and undoubtedly experienced, but there was concerns about his activity levels and work ethic when compared to Cerian. In the end, Seven Deaths was glad that he lost to such a worthy opponent and friend.

Notolecta, the final candidate, was a dark horse coming in to this election at almost the last minute. Notolecta is a long time member and Citizen of Europeia and the current Chief Justice. He's known throughout the Region for his gruff attitude and "tell it like it is" line of speech. He would certainly do well as President should he decide to run again.

The first round of elections left us with a 14-14-4 split. Cerian and SD were tied with fourteen and Noto was dropped from the ballot. Run-off elections took place and Cerian was declared the winner with 22 votes to SD's 15. Throughout the campaign, Europeia was abuzz with election fever. Many newspapers conducted pre-election polls and many more citizens questioned their would be Presidents on a variety of issues ranging from activity to CSO reform to the Navy and finally Foreign Affairs.

Now that election fever is beginning to die down, we enter into our Senate By-Elections to fill President Quilor and Vice President Drecq's seats. Everyone is waiting with bated breath. Waiting to see how the new President will do. Will he rise to the occasion and triumph or will he crash and burn, ending his career forever? Only time will tell. Good luck President Cerian Quilor. Your Region stands behind you.
 
A very nice start. Perfect emphasis on the first-timer thing, pointing out our openness as a region. A little more fast-paced, but we're just starting. Let me see...

Now he's the President of the Region! Goes to show you how quickly things can change.

How about:

"Showing how quickly things can change here in Europeia, he's found himself President of the Region!"

I'll have some more suggestions in a bit.
 
How about:

"Seven Deaths, the next candidate" and "Notolecta, the final candidate". Seems to me they flow a bit better.

(Just because I make a suggestion doesn't mean it has to be put in. I may be wrong. :p )
 
I've always had issues with pacing and flow. Your suggestions sounded better to me. :p
 
Well, I was going to say originally "known for his billy goat gruff attitude" so that's up to you. He was very dark horse.

Check what I changed it to for Noto.
 
That sounds good.

I figure we should include other people working for MinComm in the drafting process. Ideally, we get this out by Sunday. preferably Friday.
 
Suggested edits below in blue/red markup. I also corrected "a buzz" to "abuzz."




It's always exciting and a little scary to see a first time President elected, and this most recent election was no different. This termThe Presidency was up for grabs by one of three potential first timers. Each has spent extensive time serving in the Cabinet or Senate. and it It was a close race, but in the end and we have determined our next President. Let's take a closer look at the race, it's participants and the people who made it great: you, the Citizens.

Our first Candidate and victor was none other than Cerian Quilor. Cerian is a long time member of Europeia, having served for just over two years. Cerian had resigned himself to a dead political career within the Region until he was asked to serve as the Minister of Foreign Affairs under President Swakistek. Showing how quickly things can change here in Europeia, he's found himself President of the Region!

Seven Deaths, the next candidate, is now spending his sixth consecutive term in the Cabinet under President Quilor. He's a capable member and undoubtedly experienced, but there was concerns about his activity levels and work ethic when compared to Cerian. In the end, Seven Deaths was glad that he lost to such a worthy opponent and friend.

Notolecta, the final candidate, was a dark horse coming in to this election at almost the last minute. Notolecta is a long time member and Citizen of Europeia and the current Chief Justice. He's known throughout the Region for his gruff attitude and "tell it like it is" line of speech. He would certainly do well as President should he decide to run again.

The first round of elections left us with a 14-14-4 split. Cerian and SD were tied with fourteen and Noto was dropped from the ballot. Run-off elections took place then and Cerian was declared the winner with 22 votes to SD's 15. Throughout the campaign, Europeia was abuzz with election fever. Many newspapers conducted pre-election polls and many more citizens questioned their would be Presidents on a variety of issues ranging from activity to CSO reform to the Navy and finally Foreign Affairs.

Now Tthat election fever is beginning to die down, now as we enter into our Senate By-Elections to fill President Quilor and Vice President Drecq's seats. but you can bet eEveryone is waiting with bated breath! Waiting to see how the new President will do. Will he rise to the occasion and triumph or will he crash and burn, ending his career forever? Only time will tell. Good luck President Cerian Quilor. Your Region stands behind you.
 
Now that I think about it, I'm not sure that the 'you, the Citizens' bit is necessary. After all we are sending this out as a Foreign Update. not talking to our Citizens.

Also, Cerian, would you like to add a personal note to introduce yourself to the other Regions?
 
Agreed. That's a bit out of place.

And that actually seems like a useful idea. I'll have something put together tonight
 
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