Ministry Of Excommunication Gets Right To Work
Press release lists those to be exiled under penalty of a vague but threatening punishment
The Kraken administration, it would seem, is not one to rest on its laurels. The newly founded Ministry of Excommunication distributed a press release today listing a number of citizens whom it says "must leave the region within twenty-four hours, under penalty of". The last word had been smudged to the point of illegibility by a substance that appeared to be human blood. The release listed the following names and reasons:
Supreme Justice Drecq, for having failed to fulfill his newcomer-punching quota last term;
Former President Writinglegend, for having dozed off during Kraketopia's inaugural address;
Ensign Drummer Cpt. Carrot of the ERN, for having failed to sufficiently annoy Anumia during recent operations;
Assemblyman Zapper Dingleberry, for having been seen "moving at a fast pace deemed inappropriate for a sloth" in the Republic Square last week;
Supreme Chancellor HEM, for having announced his plans to replace the EBC with "The Holy Church of Jorts";
and Assemblyman Aexnidaral Seymour, for having been naked on a recent Mixlr radio show.
Faux News encourages all those listed to emigrate from the region as fast as possible.
