Before we begin, can we just take a minute to recognize the title? I know it's not too original, but it made me giggle to myself, so I like it. I also want to clarify that this piece is about my first time running for a true public office, one elected by every citizen, rather than the CA Chair. I refuse to acknowledge the loss that Calvin handed me. 
Let's get moving, shall we?
Most of you know the story of how I joined the region and my opinion of this place that I have came to enjoy. It's rather straightforward. I didn't want to come, I came, and I enjoyed it. The region seems rather daunting at first with the massive Onder text walls in the judiciary, the Senators that have been Senators longer than you've known about what this game is, the manner in which the Cabinet handles itself, and the self-assured knowledge that seems to perforate the very coding of the forum. All of it screams of an organization, a group, a place, whatever you want to call it, that knows what it is all about. There are undoubtedly disagreements, even feuds, but each of them only serve to give this already established place its own unique brand, its own swagger in and of itself. I don't think that there is any one thing that can be pointed at as the source of said swagger. It's not the Executive, which drives so many of the region's functions, or the Senate, which ensures that the legislation provided as law in the region is capable of supporting the weight of the great beast that my predecessors created, or even the Judges, who I consider to be stoic looking old men that ensure that the region's balance is maintain in terms of the law. It's not even the Supreme Chancellors, who have stayed with the region over the years like shepherds looking after the flock. Rather, it is all of them and more. It's the admin that spends hours ensuring that the coding is right and that the signature limits are just perfect, it's the Citizens' Assembly member that drives conversation in the chamber and promotes new ideas, and it's even the newspaper editor that writes an article that pisses people off and creates discussion. It's a rather complicated bunch of nerves and paths that can be confusing to people from all walks of life.
So, then, how do you integrate yourself? How do you become a part of this way of life that we promote for ourselves among the other regions of NationStates?
The answers vary for most people, from what I've seen. Some will tell you to go through the process of being an Assistant Minister. Others will say that a trip through the Citizens' Assembly is the way to go. Regardless, it is rather terrifying. It makes you take a step back and consider just what you will have to do because no one is going to tolerate you coming in half-cocked and expecting the world. Nor should they. You have to give this region the respect it deserves and commit yourself to proving that you have what it takes. It'll give you a chance, but you have to earn enough trust to get that chance through your actions. That comes from whatever path that you chose.
For me, there was no doubt in my mind in terms what I wanted to do once I came to terms with it. I was brought here by people I care about as a place that they cared about and in my eyes that made this region something that I, myself, should care about. If not for me, then for them. It wasn't until I started becoming acquainted with the people here that I realized that I was starting to come here not only for those I care about but also for myself. People like Cpt.Carrot, Calvin, Sopo, Rach, and a number of others made me a place that I could be comfortable in. It all happened rather quickly. Before I knew what was happening, I was being nominated for a position, and then, not very much later, the end of the Senate's term came.
I still wasn't sure about what I wanted. How could you be, really? I mean, this region is so incredibly large in all of its various ways that it's hard to start. It wasn't until I started talking to people that I have came to call friends that I started to get an idea of what I wanted. I enjoy and still enjoy the practice of discussion and love the method in which we debate our legislation. Something about fighting for what I believe in among those that I respect and those that respect me is something that I find incredibly satisfying. At the same time, I was unsure. I didn't think that I had earned it. I felt that it would be an insult to those running with so much more experience than me that I had thought myself capable of running against them. I know, it's dramatic, but I didn't feel I was ready to try. I thought I could do the job, but the idea of running, of the potential to disappoint everyone with my platform, was an unfounded fear that I had. I was lucky enough to be encouraged by those around me to run. They had enough faith in me that they urged me to run, to at least give it a shot, and so I said "What the hell" and decided to give it the best shot that I could muster. At the beginning, I was a little frightened.
That's probably the reason I was so surprised when I found out that I enjoyed it. The process was all so foreign to me. The only "running" I've done has been for exercise, the need to get to the bathroom, or when I was so hungry that I needed to get to the kitchen before I murdered someone. So it was a bit odd when the first set of questions came and I realized that I enjoyed it. I loved the ability to make my opinions known, the chance to prove myself, and the possibility of being able to give back and to craft something that I could proud of. Each question offered to me was like a log on the flame. Every discussion about the coming term and the faith or, at the very least, the curiosity about what I could do was like lighter fluid. I requested more questions. This, you can ask Hy(the guy never asked anything. Jerkface.) and Mousebumples about, as I probably asked them about their questions every time that the subject came up. I even responded to Mouse when I finished answering. It is a bit odd, but the experience was one that I will never forget. It's challenging, don't get me wrong. Of course it is. It's meant to be, but I think that only serves to add to it. You're up there, free for everyone to question and free to express what you believe and what you want on a stage that is bigger than most on NationStates, and the experience is one that really makes you think as an intellectual. It's quite lovely.
Until the actual voting happens. I hate voting. I hate it in my very bones but it's more a personal hate than a general hate. There's nothing overly terrible about it. It's not the fear of losing that bothers me, the concern of our barely scraping by, or the dreams of blowing everyone else out of the water. None of that is particularly difficult to deal with. No, for me it is the wait. I probably made my mouse feel like it was being abused with the number of times I clicked the refresh button. I wanted it to be magically over. At least that way I could know the outcome. Even if I lost, I wouldn't care, because that wasn't what the election was about. I feel bad for those that make an election about winning. For me, it was about being able to make myself heard and seeing if those I spoke to and confided in were interested in my vision, of my opinion, and curious to see where I would lead them as we traveled down our road. If I had lost, it would have been okay as I would have been able to learn where I needed to improve on myself and where I could do better so that the next time I would have ran it would be with an opinion more firmly formed and an ideal more solidly shaped than the one that I began with. Either way, it would have been something that I could look at with pride because it is something that I am proud of.
That said, winning was nice. Winning is always nice. It comes with its own set of gratification, of fulfillment, and of self satisfaction as all of your hard work pays of. My husband has a saying "Prepare to win, but never expect it" that I have come to live by. One should do all that one can to win. You should prepare yourself and come to terms with what you want so that winning is something that you can appreciate as hard won while, at the same time, being prepared to accept your loss without feeling bad about it. Winning granted me the ability to give back to everyone in a way that I can enjoy and it's something that I can be happy about. I was happy about it. I am happy about it. I woke my husband up in celebration of it because it was something that I can be proud of.
The real pride, however, comes at the end of the term when all that you set out to do has been done. That's when you can look back at what you accomplished to admire the work that you have committed yourself to completing. If you worked hard enough and left behind something that you believe in, that you enjoyed working on, that is when all of the hard work becomes worth it. That's what I strive for and that, my friends, is what I hope that each and every one of you reading comes to strive for.
If you are thinking about running in an election and are unsure, let me offer you some words of advice. Do it. Be like Nike and do it. Look at those of election past that have ran, that have prepared themselves as people willing to fight for what they believe in, and strive to do better. If you want to succeed, then you should do the preparation necessary to achieve that success with the ideas that you believe in. You might not win. I can't promise you that but if you take what you believe in and make an informed, well thought out, and well planned platform then you can at least be proud in the effort that you put forth. Then, when it is all said and done, you can look back at the entire thing as something that you are proud to have crafted. So do it. Don't be afraid, everyone here was just where you are now. We weren't always this dashingly good looking. We worked for it, just like you are.
Have faith in yourself and fight.
Thank you all for reading.
Let's get moving, shall we?
Most of you know the story of how I joined the region and my opinion of this place that I have came to enjoy. It's rather straightforward. I didn't want to come, I came, and I enjoyed it. The region seems rather daunting at first with the massive Onder text walls in the judiciary, the Senators that have been Senators longer than you've known about what this game is, the manner in which the Cabinet handles itself, and the self-assured knowledge that seems to perforate the very coding of the forum. All of it screams of an organization, a group, a place, whatever you want to call it, that knows what it is all about. There are undoubtedly disagreements, even feuds, but each of them only serve to give this already established place its own unique brand, its own swagger in and of itself. I don't think that there is any one thing that can be pointed at as the source of said swagger. It's not the Executive, which drives so many of the region's functions, or the Senate, which ensures that the legislation provided as law in the region is capable of supporting the weight of the great beast that my predecessors created, or even the Judges, who I consider to be stoic looking old men that ensure that the region's balance is maintain in terms of the law. It's not even the Supreme Chancellors, who have stayed with the region over the years like shepherds looking after the flock. Rather, it is all of them and more. It's the admin that spends hours ensuring that the coding is right and that the signature limits are just perfect, it's the Citizens' Assembly member that drives conversation in the chamber and promotes new ideas, and it's even the newspaper editor that writes an article that pisses people off and creates discussion. It's a rather complicated bunch of nerves and paths that can be confusing to people from all walks of life.
So, then, how do you integrate yourself? How do you become a part of this way of life that we promote for ourselves among the other regions of NationStates?
The answers vary for most people, from what I've seen. Some will tell you to go through the process of being an Assistant Minister. Others will say that a trip through the Citizens' Assembly is the way to go. Regardless, it is rather terrifying. It makes you take a step back and consider just what you will have to do because no one is going to tolerate you coming in half-cocked and expecting the world. Nor should they. You have to give this region the respect it deserves and commit yourself to proving that you have what it takes. It'll give you a chance, but you have to earn enough trust to get that chance through your actions. That comes from whatever path that you chose.
For me, there was no doubt in my mind in terms what I wanted to do once I came to terms with it. I was brought here by people I care about as a place that they cared about and in my eyes that made this region something that I, myself, should care about. If not for me, then for them. It wasn't until I started becoming acquainted with the people here that I realized that I was starting to come here not only for those I care about but also for myself. People like Cpt.Carrot, Calvin, Sopo, Rach, and a number of others made me a place that I could be comfortable in. It all happened rather quickly. Before I knew what was happening, I was being nominated for a position, and then, not very much later, the end of the Senate's term came.
I still wasn't sure about what I wanted. How could you be, really? I mean, this region is so incredibly large in all of its various ways that it's hard to start. It wasn't until I started talking to people that I have came to call friends that I started to get an idea of what I wanted. I enjoy and still enjoy the practice of discussion and love the method in which we debate our legislation. Something about fighting for what I believe in among those that I respect and those that respect me is something that I find incredibly satisfying. At the same time, I was unsure. I didn't think that I had earned it. I felt that it would be an insult to those running with so much more experience than me that I had thought myself capable of running against them. I know, it's dramatic, but I didn't feel I was ready to try. I thought I could do the job, but the idea of running, of the potential to disappoint everyone with my platform, was an unfounded fear that I had. I was lucky enough to be encouraged by those around me to run. They had enough faith in me that they urged me to run, to at least give it a shot, and so I said "What the hell" and decided to give it the best shot that I could muster. At the beginning, I was a little frightened.
That's probably the reason I was so surprised when I found out that I enjoyed it. The process was all so foreign to me. The only "running" I've done has been for exercise, the need to get to the bathroom, or when I was so hungry that I needed to get to the kitchen before I murdered someone. So it was a bit odd when the first set of questions came and I realized that I enjoyed it. I loved the ability to make my opinions known, the chance to prove myself, and the possibility of being able to give back and to craft something that I could proud of. Each question offered to me was like a log on the flame. Every discussion about the coming term and the faith or, at the very least, the curiosity about what I could do was like lighter fluid. I requested more questions. This, you can ask Hy(the guy never asked anything. Jerkface.) and Mousebumples about, as I probably asked them about their questions every time that the subject came up. I even responded to Mouse when I finished answering. It is a bit odd, but the experience was one that I will never forget. It's challenging, don't get me wrong. Of course it is. It's meant to be, but I think that only serves to add to it. You're up there, free for everyone to question and free to express what you believe and what you want on a stage that is bigger than most on NationStates, and the experience is one that really makes you think as an intellectual. It's quite lovely.
Until the actual voting happens. I hate voting. I hate it in my very bones but it's more a personal hate than a general hate. There's nothing overly terrible about it. It's not the fear of losing that bothers me, the concern of our barely scraping by, or the dreams of blowing everyone else out of the water. None of that is particularly difficult to deal with. No, for me it is the wait. I probably made my mouse feel like it was being abused with the number of times I clicked the refresh button. I wanted it to be magically over. At least that way I could know the outcome. Even if I lost, I wouldn't care, because that wasn't what the election was about. I feel bad for those that make an election about winning. For me, it was about being able to make myself heard and seeing if those I spoke to and confided in were interested in my vision, of my opinion, and curious to see where I would lead them as we traveled down our road. If I had lost, it would have been okay as I would have been able to learn where I needed to improve on myself and where I could do better so that the next time I would have ran it would be with an opinion more firmly formed and an ideal more solidly shaped than the one that I began with. Either way, it would have been something that I could look at with pride because it is something that I am proud of.
That said, winning was nice. Winning is always nice. It comes with its own set of gratification, of fulfillment, and of self satisfaction as all of your hard work pays of. My husband has a saying "Prepare to win, but never expect it" that I have come to live by. One should do all that one can to win. You should prepare yourself and come to terms with what you want so that winning is something that you can appreciate as hard won while, at the same time, being prepared to accept your loss without feeling bad about it. Winning granted me the ability to give back to everyone in a way that I can enjoy and it's something that I can be happy about. I was happy about it. I am happy about it. I woke my husband up in celebration of it because it was something that I can be proud of.
The real pride, however, comes at the end of the term when all that you set out to do has been done. That's when you can look back at what you accomplished to admire the work that you have committed yourself to completing. If you worked hard enough and left behind something that you believe in, that you enjoyed working on, that is when all of the hard work becomes worth it. That's what I strive for and that, my friends, is what I hope that each and every one of you reading comes to strive for.
If you are thinking about running in an election and are unsure, let me offer you some words of advice. Do it. Be like Nike and do it. Look at those of election past that have ran, that have prepared themselves as people willing to fight for what they believe in, and strive to do better. If you want to succeed, then you should do the preparation necessary to achieve that success with the ideas that you believe in. You might not win. I can't promise you that but if you take what you believe in and make an informed, well thought out, and well planned platform then you can at least be proud in the effort that you put forth. Then, when it is all said and done, you can look back at the entire thing as something that you are proud to have crafted. So do it. Don't be afraid, everyone here was just where you are now. We weren't always this dashingly good looking. We worked for it, just like you are.
Have faith in yourself and fight.
Thank you all for reading.
