Faux News: 17% more factual than Fox News
Secret Supreme Chancellor Brothel?
It's been no secret that over the years the SC's have been involved in some pretty perverted things. Between HEM's strange jean shorts obsession and Lethen's nefarious schemes (remember last Halloween where he invited us all into his bunker for what turned out to be an orgy?!?) it's been quite clear that neither Supreme Chancellor is a morally upstanding individual. But what happened a few days ago crossed the line.
As Faux News's Senior Sexual Affairs Analyst I have long suspected the SC of really being one big brothel under the control of HEM, and this was confirmed when HEM changed Lethen's SC title to "Harlot in the House of HEM." When I brought this up with Lethen he feigned ignorance, and then pretended to be upset with HEM for "playing a joke on him." Likely he was upset that he was being outed as one of HEM's "working girls." Lethen's title was then changed to "Kraken's Bottom Bitch," which indicates that the former President and current GA may be involved in maintaining order in the brothel, whether as a shift pimp, or enforcer.
Either way it's clear that this has reached through to the executive. Faux News can only advise the region to stay away from the SC's, and pay for their sex the good old fashioned way - through awkward dates and hours of boredom.
ERN Declares War on TNP
It seems that some kind of personal dispute has broken out between HMS Unicorn of TNP (r3naisanc3r in Euro) and Grand Admiral Kraketopia. Political analysts are considering this very strange, given their recent history of collaboration. It appears that Grand Admiral Kraken sent the TNP Delegate a telegram saying "I don't like your flag, prepare to suffer death by a rusty spoon!" HMS Unicorn responded in the only way possible to such a personal threat, ordering the immediate closure of embassies between TNP and Europeia, stating "The embassy with Europeia is being withdrawn. Closure expected in 2 days 12 hours."
It appears that this crossed the line for Europeia, and the ERN its preparing for a full scale assault on TNP. Our GA sent an official communique back to HMS Unicorn, replying "You will suffer the hellfire of the ERN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA *chokes, then recovers*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Faux News urges all sailors to be on alert, and all citizens to prepare their bomb shelters. Between war with TNP and the likely upcoming zombie invasion, we're going to be in for one hell of a fight.
Secret Supreme Chancellor Brothel?
It's been no secret that over the years the SC's have been involved in some pretty perverted things. Between HEM's strange jean shorts obsession and Lethen's nefarious schemes (remember last Halloween where he invited us all into his bunker for what turned out to be an orgy?!?) it's been quite clear that neither Supreme Chancellor is a morally upstanding individual. But what happened a few days ago crossed the line.
As Faux News's Senior Sexual Affairs Analyst I have long suspected the SC of really being one big brothel under the control of HEM, and this was confirmed when HEM changed Lethen's SC title to "Harlot in the House of HEM." When I brought this up with Lethen he feigned ignorance, and then pretended to be upset with HEM for "playing a joke on him." Likely he was upset that he was being outed as one of HEM's "working girls." Lethen's title was then changed to "Kraken's Bottom Bitch," which indicates that the former President and current GA may be involved in maintaining order in the brothel, whether as a shift pimp, or enforcer.
Either way it's clear that this has reached through to the executive. Faux News can only advise the region to stay away from the SC's, and pay for their sex the good old fashioned way - through awkward dates and hours of boredom.
ERN Declares War on TNP
It seems that some kind of personal dispute has broken out between HMS Unicorn of TNP (r3naisanc3r in Euro) and Grand Admiral Kraketopia. Political analysts are considering this very strange, given their recent history of collaboration. It appears that Grand Admiral Kraken sent the TNP Delegate a telegram saying "I don't like your flag, prepare to suffer death by a rusty spoon!" HMS Unicorn responded in the only way possible to such a personal threat, ordering the immediate closure of embassies between TNP and Europeia, stating "The embassy with Europeia is being withdrawn. Closure expected in 2 days 12 hours."
It appears that this crossed the line for Europeia, and the ERN its preparing for a full scale assault on TNP. Our GA sent an official communique back to HMS Unicorn, replying "You will suffer the hellfire of the ERN! MUAHAHAHAHAHA *chokes, then recovers*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Faux News urges all sailors to be on alert, and all citizens to prepare their bomb shelters. Between war with TNP and the likely upcoming zombie invasion, we're going to be in for one hell of a fight.
