- Pronouns
- He/Him
Written by Ervald
"Whoo hoo! This election has been a wild one and in the past few days, there have been some bizarre developments. Aditya, despite not being a legal candidate for the Presidency since his running mate never confirmed he would be VP, has just released a controversial platform.
He plans to establish an idiocracy in Europeia which all idiots of the RMB board will control all government functions on the forum. Almost the entire forum appears to hate this, while citizens only active on the RMB seem to be deeply divided on this proposal. Glorious Republic of the Awesome Fake French Reich on the RMB has said, “Like Hammerabi told, ‘governed for a governed!’ This proposal is absolutely logical! And look, representative democracy worked in Weimar Germany! I mean, we’re representing the forum…right?”
Hyanygo on the forum has said, “This is absolutely ridiculous. I have lost faith in humanity. Our forum citizens are intellectual, professional, and creative citizens while people on the RMB are empty-minded, primitive nicompoopers. If Aditya gets elected, I will destroy the University Library!”
With more alarming news, Zenny has just registered to be on the ballot. She came back to Europeia by sneaking through the back window of Brunhilde’s house which is located right on the border, basically your classic Baarle-Nassau situation. Political experts are guessing her platform will promote self-glorification, rigged elections, excessive communist-themed propaganda, terrible military, and spying on political parties and societies. Happily for most citizens, the Ministry of Communications has released a report with her registering at -3 points in the polls.
Following the disastrous scandal with the PREDATOR tool with DEN higher-ups, they have all immigrated to Europeia. Gest and Chingis, using computers from a local public library to bypass their ban, released a platform simply saying, “Writing is inferior. We will just establish a military junta and step down and have Kraken in charge. Hail Europeia!”.
Despite dozens of insults from citizens, they are polling 90% with all ERN personnel. Right-wingers in Europeia are also hoping to have a Greek or Chilean military junta –inspired regime. The latest scandal is a very possible future President, Calvin Coolidge was arrested for assault against a running mate of another candidate, HEM.
After finding out HEM possessed a bamboo tree farm in the low-tax zone territory, the Krakenist Japanese Paradise, Calvin mounted a hasty raid on his farm. Unfortunately, HEM was right outside the farm entrance and after refusing to give up 75% of the bamboo farm to him monthly, Calvin attacked him. He failed to attack him by the groin and instead, his right leg have a deep gash. HEM was transported to the hospital and is resting there and is reported to be out and moving in a day or two.
Calvin defended the attack by saying: “Look, if you want me as your President, I gotta work well and bamboo motivate me. Lately, Ervald been buying out bamboo farms and placing lambs and chickens in them to make gyro meat for himself! If anything, it was a Hail Mary solution and I am negotiating with HEM after he get out of the hospital with Kazaman as the mediator to find a way for him to keep parts of the farm while I can get a flourishing supply of bamboo.”"
