bart harley jarvis posted to win presidency

John Laurens

Deputy Minister
Citizen
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Bart Harley Jarvis Primed for Presidency

In the closing hours of the Presidential election, Bart Harley Jarvis has expanded his commanding lead over the other candidates in the presidential race. In polling by corncobTV, Bart Harley Jarvis is the favorite to win the presidency, with 55 percent of respondents declaring that Bart Harley Jarvis will win. This is in spite of Mr. Harley Jarvis’s completely flat back of the head.

Citizens were also asked which candidate would win Baby of the Year. We can report that, if the election were held today, Icarus would win, handily. This is a huge victory for the Grand Admiral, who needed a big boost after the Presidential Debate. Icarus then followed up by being declared the candidate with the silliest, goofiest mood.

Next, we rated the candidates on their zestyness. In a huge shock, 66 percent of respondents declared OD zesty. We shall soon see if he can preserve this reputation through the election and beyond.

On the other hand, Icarus is an enigma, with 55 percent of respondents unable to access her zestyness. This may prove to be a hurdle to overcome, as the next election will find out if the candidates are sufficiently girlypop.

Pland Adanna, however, is convincingly not Zesty. Only 22 percent of respondents said the Minister of Foreign Affairs was Zesty, a huge loss to the Ministry as a whole. What can a ministry do with a un zesty leader?

The most important question of the night, however, is if corncobTV should drop Coffin Flop. The answer was a firm no from 100 percent of the population. We are proud to be the station you turn to for all of your needs of people falling out of coffins naked.

Until next time, Turbo Team, this has been corncobTV
 

Lethen

Nissan: electric cars for electric drivers
Forum Administrator
Supreme Chancellor
Honoured Citizen
Citizen
Is no one going to address the elephant in the room? Bart Harley Jarvis' father did the oral. I'm conflicted though because he would have won the election without his father doing the oral
 

John Laurens

Deputy Minister
Citizen
Is no one going to address the elephant in the room? Bart Harley Jarvis' father did the oral. I'm conflicted though because he would have won the election without his father doing the oral
And that’s why I didn’t address it. Because it was so hard to talk about the oral. Because he didn’t have to do the oral.
 
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