Valentine's Day Merriment by the Ministry of Culture
Festivities abound from Arnhelm to Pinkerton
Written by Maowi, Edited by Westinor and Darcness
As the first rays of the sun poked over the horizon on Valentine's Day morning, warm golden light was not the only thing suffusing the Europeian archipelago. Descending too upon the scattered islands was a tenuous mist, pinkish in hue, that floated through streets, snaked around trees, and seeped through windows. Its tendrils found the sleeping citizens and settled into their hearts; and when the citizens woke up, they found themselves possessed by an unstoppable force of poetic whimsy.
Archmage Ellenburg and his intrepid team of culture magi looked out at the love-struck Europeians wandering down Pinkerton Way, feeling great satisfaction as their hard work came to fruition. After days of scheming, conniving, and other such occult shenanigans, they could finally sit back, feet up and drink of choice in hand, and enjoy the unfolding events. And unfold they did!
Throughout the day, the plazas of Europeian Centre bustled with cultural activity. The region’s minstrels took turns standing on plinths and reciting their original love poems to rapturous crowds; soothsayers burned herbs and, peering and coughing through the smoke, cast predictions for their fellow citizens’ fortunes in romance. Even the more culinary-minded festival goers had their time to shine, with Vice Chancellor sanjurika enlightening spectators with an incredible recipe for chocolate strawberries. To complete the jubilant atmosphere, Fillet minion and Industhan commandeered the public speaker system to blast out Europeia’s favourite Valentine’s Day tunes enhanced by their informative commentary. Citizens also had the opportunity to flaunt their artistic skills in the ultimate test of pictorial storytelling known as Gartic Phone.
The most frenetic event of the festival was by all accounts the Valentine’s 2024 edition of the Europeian Bachelor, in which citizens from all over the archipelago vied for President JayDee’s heart. Ten sessions of intrigue, courtship, and heartbreak culminated in a high-octane head-to-head between Istillian and Pudimlland; the gut-wrenching finale ultimately saw JayDee grant his hand in marriage to Pudimlland, leaving Istillian to languish in the throes of despair.
While the hubbub has mostly died down and the magi's magic mist is fading, the Ministry of Culture’s legion of heralds stands at the ready to receive Europeians’ Valentine notes, whether heartfelt or jocular, and then disperse across the land and sea delivering them to your loved ones by the month's end. As the festival winds to a close, let us keep hold of the goodwill, kindness, and love that it brought us.
