Signifying Nothing Episode 1: Why I Hate Rodents
A blog on life, books, gaming, movies, politics, and whatever else I feel like
"She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing."
-Macbeth
Hello once more again, audience! Today, this new blog will become my only EBC blog. Cute, Win, Fail, Gustavus Fails at Gaming, and The Peanut Gallery all had their days in the sun, but they were too formulaic and gimmicky and time-consuming. So instead I've decided to just give you this.
How to describe it? It kind of combines features of all three- I will occasionally poke fun at failures, and review (not write about playing, that takes too long) games, books, and movies- but I stress only occasionally (i.e. when I feel like it)- the rest will be just my random musings.
Today, I found this video of a squirrel unleashing a can of whoopass on a snake. It got me thinking about a small developing phobia in my life: rats (and to a somewhat lesser extent, squirrels)! :blink:
It all started a few nights ago, when I heard *scritch scritch scritch scritch*. Being a somewhat light sleeper, I was immediately woken up by this. I had heard that some other students were seeing rats scurrying about at night on campus. But never in the fucking ceiling! That's, at least, where I found the source of the noise from the little buggers.
I haven't been getting much sleep since...since I sometimes have nightmares that they'll chew through the ceiling, and then land on my bed and chew through ME!
But the fear really stems from an incident a few years ago where my dad tried to capture a wayward groundhog that had burrowed in our backyard because a few months earlier, my doofus of a dog, who is obsessed with squirrels and whining at them from afar, attacked and killed a fat, old groundhog that had decided to take a leisurely stroll across the yard...
Anyway, my father being who he is, he didn't bother to tell the rest of us before he put a groundhog trap in the yard. Unfortunately for me, I just happened to get home before everyone else that day, and it was usually my job to feed the animals and let the dog out...
So, I went in to my room and put on a meditation song on my iPod for a few minutes, thinking that five minutes or so would be more than enough for my dog to do their...um, business. That was when I heard the dog barking! Was it the neighbors' five year old kid again? Was she having a bark-off with another dog? No matter- I figured it was high time to let the dog in.
That's when I stepped outside and heard, "SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH." I jumped back a bit and then saw my dog appear to be lunging at something repeatedly and have lots of gray hairs on her nose. I immediately ran over to my dog and grabbed her by the collar, but she is actually quite a strong and fast dog and was able to pull back. Meanwhile, I saw the frightened squirrel that had inadvertently been trapped in the groundhog cage and thought, I never knew squirrels could shriek like the damned.
The barks and hisses of attacker and captive played through my overactive imagination like this (along with my dialogue):
My Dog: "Hi, I'm a dog! Do you want to play with me?" (To death?! :lol
The Squirrel (in Russian for some reason): "Get away from me this instant or I will unleash the ancient art of squirrel-fu!"
Me: "You're going back inside, you stupid dog!"
The Squirrel: "Human...the hour of furry judgment is upon you!"
Me: "But I saved your furry ass! Stop shrieking!"
The Squirrel: "Tell my nuts I love them!!!!"
My dad got back about a few minutes later and helped me practically wrestle that bonehead back inside. But perhaps the squirrel's predictions came true...and he sent rats from the bowels of hell from whence rodents emerge to torment me until the end of days! :lol:
All I can say further is...when I'm in my own place, the minute that I find that there's a rat or squirrel or groundhog or whatever rodent problem, I'm buying a Mossberg 500 shotgun right away, and their furry days are NUMBERED! :lol:
A blog on life, books, gaming, movies, politics, and whatever else I feel like
"She should have died hereafter;
There would have been a time for such a word.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing."
-Macbeth
Hello once more again, audience!
Today, this new blog will become my only EBC blog. Cute, Win, Fail, Gustavus Fails at Gaming, and The Peanut Gallery all had their days in the sun, but they were too formulaic and gimmicky and time-consuming. So instead I've decided to just give you this. How to describe it? It kind of combines features of all three- I will occasionally poke fun at failures, and review (not write about playing, that takes too long) games, books, and movies- but I stress only occasionally (i.e. when I feel like it)- the rest will be just my random musings.
Today, I found this video of a squirrel unleashing a can of whoopass on a snake. It got me thinking about a small developing phobia in my life: rats (and to a somewhat lesser extent, squirrels)! :blink:
It all started a few nights ago, when I heard *scritch scritch scritch scritch*. Being a somewhat light sleeper, I was immediately woken up by this. I had heard that some other students were seeing rats scurrying about at night on campus. But never in the fucking ceiling! That's, at least, where I found the source of the noise from the little buggers.
I haven't been getting much sleep since...since I sometimes have nightmares that they'll chew through the ceiling, and then land on my bed and chew through ME!
But the fear really stems from an incident a few years ago where my dad tried to capture a wayward groundhog that had burrowed in our backyard because a few months earlier, my doofus of a dog, who is obsessed with squirrels and whining at them from afar, attacked and killed a fat, old groundhog that had decided to take a leisurely stroll across the yard...
Anyway, my father being who he is, he didn't bother to tell the rest of us before he put a groundhog trap in the yard. Unfortunately for me, I just happened to get home before everyone else that day, and it was usually my job to feed the animals and let the dog out...
So, I went in to my room and put on a meditation song on my iPod for a few minutes, thinking that five minutes or so would be more than enough for my dog to do their...um, business.
That was when I heard the dog barking! Was it the neighbors' five year old kid again? Was she having a bark-off with another dog? No matter- I figured it was high time to let the dog in.That's when I stepped outside and heard, "SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH." I jumped back a bit and then saw my dog appear to be lunging at something repeatedly and have lots of gray hairs on her nose. I immediately ran over to my dog and grabbed her by the collar, but she is actually quite a strong and fast dog and was able to pull back. Meanwhile, I saw the frightened squirrel that had inadvertently been trapped in the groundhog cage and thought, I never knew squirrels could shriek like the damned.
The barks and hisses of attacker and captive played through my overactive imagination like this (along with my dialogue
):My Dog: "Hi, I'm a dog! Do you want to play with me?" (To death?! :lol
The Squirrel (in Russian for some reason): "Get away from me this instant or I will unleash the ancient art of squirrel-fu!"
Me: "You're going back inside, you stupid dog!"
The Squirrel: "Human...the hour of furry judgment is upon you!"
Me: "But I saved your furry ass! Stop shrieking!"
The Squirrel: "Tell my nuts I love them!!!!"
My dad got back about a few minutes later and helped me practically wrestle that bonehead back inside. But perhaps the squirrel's predictions came true...and he sent rats from the bowels of hell from whence rodents emerge to torment me until the end of days! :lol:
All I can say further is...when I'm in my own place, the minute that I find that there's a rat or squirrel or groundhog or whatever rodent problem, I'm buying a Mossberg 500 shotgun right away, and their furry days are NUMBERED! :lol:
