Five Reasons My Nationstates Family Distresses Me

Five Reasons My Nationstates Family Distresses Me



When I first joined Nationstates, I was a simple conservative Dutchman, full of piss, vinegar and formidable dislike for socialism. So when I was born, a son of Fioteria, King of Hampshire, I was excited. Well, go figure, Fioteria's gone now.

With the help of Gustavus Rex, I helped to trace my family history and realized I am in the most fanatically insane cross-section of Nationstates inbreeding.

Here's what I wish I knew before I rolled the genetic dice.

5. My Mother (Hannah Grey)



From what I know, my mom was awesome. She was loved by all, and her marriage to my dad was long-lasting. Trouble is that I met her.. once. I never actually talked to her. In terms of absent parenting, she basically takes the trophy for Parent Most Likely To Miss Your Games.

At least I had brothers right...

4. My Brother (Ramanat)



GAR tells Ramanat was a drunk moron who could barely scrape together the mental fortitude to correctly run a colony called Wexford, despite being pampered by kings and Prime Ministers. He couldn't decide if he was a loyalist or a revolutionary. He was a blockhead basically.

Well, I have other brothers...

3. My Brother (Solimaria)



GAR tells me he liked Solimaria. Anumia tells me Solimaria was a raging dickwad. GAR also tells me he missed the part when Solimaria tried to overthrow the Livenda crown. While Ramanat was drunkenly waving his dick around Wexford, Solimaria was plotting a fairly unsuccessful revolution and getting himself banned. What a prick.

Okay, two for two. Kaelon II...

2. My Brother (Kaelon II)



Kaelon II lied about his age, acted immature and didn't do much for the region besides put it at risk of being shut down by violating IF Terms and Conditions. Jerk.

Drumroll for the grand finale...

1. My Choice



I could have waited and you know, done some research before choosing to roleplay my life this way. I didn't. That's what kills me. I chose to be the brother of crooks, and morons and the son of very nice but absent parents.

I deserve it. I suck. Boo me.

Thank you. Now go away.
 
I can't believe you didn't add in Lord Alphanesia, your grandfather! That would have made for a lot of lawlz. :p

Anyway, this was a good piece, and I can't wait for more of these lists. :D
 
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