Thursday, May 9 is day two of the Eurovision Semifinals, and your intrepid correspondent from Lloenflys's Gavel (the world's Most Dependable Legal Entertainment magazine online blog collection of random essays on things that catch my fancy at the moment is here with your prediction needs! That's right, I suffered through all of these songs so YOU didn't have to!
With that said, here are my scores for the songs that we'll hear on the second night of the semifinals. The top 10 (plus automatic qualifiers France, Spain, and Italy) will advance from this semifinal into Saturday's final round:
1.) 9 out of 10 - Switzerland (The Code by Nemo)
Similarly experimental with sound as Greece's "Zari," this is an example of experimentation that works - it tells a story and delivers a satisfying listening experience. Everything "Zari" did wrong, "The Code" does right. A definite contender for the title.
X.) 8.5 out of 10 - France (Mon Amour by Slimane)
A big power ballad with a lot of emotional heft - it will do well, but does it pack enough punch to win? I don't think it quite reaches that level.
X.) 8 out of 10 - Spain (Zorra by Nebulossa)
An absolute banger, kind of ... it's about living your best life, or something. This seems to be a song about being old and wise and being happy about it. The beat really does hit pretty hard, but the lyrics are nothing special and the message is milquetoast, believe in yourself, life is great pablum that is pretty generic. This will likely do well, but I can't see it winning.
2.) 8 out of 10 - Netherlands (Europapa by Joost Klein)
Something of a match for Finland's "No Rules," Europapa is a kitschy, campy romp through Europe with a big beat and some memorable musicality. Points off for over-relying on lazy lyrics (repeatedly saying Europapa being the primary offense). This will do well because of the camp factor, but there isn't a strong enough underlying song here to make it a contender for the win.
3.) 7.5 out of 10 - Czechia (Pedestal by Aiko)
An uptempo pop song that I would happy listen to, but it doesn't break any new ground and lacks the firepower necessary to compete for the crown.
4.) 7.5 out of 10 - Latvia (Hollow by Dons)
Male oriented ballad that has a good flow to it, but not memorable enough or exploratory enough to make too deep of an impression.
5.) 7.5 out of 10 - Georgia (Firefighter by Nutsa Buzaladze)
Some soaring vocals on this pop offering that give it a slight bump in score because it will impress some people, but unlikely to gain the traction necessary to do much beyond getting into the finals.
6.) 7.5 out of 10 - Israel (Hurricane by Elan Golan)
Big power balad with some decent lyrics and a strong chorus, but there's nothing here that gets it into the upper reaches of the competition and, politically, it will struggle to get out of the semifinals.
7.) 7 out of 10 - Albania (Titan by BESA)
Another straightforward pop song - more of an empowerment message and a better overall song structure but again, nothing that is going to make this rise above the competition.
8.) 7 out of 10 - Austria (We Will Rave by Kaleen)
Its heavy driving beat will appeal to some, but this is a fairly tepid ode to hedonism. There's not enough here to feel edgy, there's no new ground broken, and it feels a bit like someone just wanted to make sure a bit of pulsating techno got injected into Eurovision. Paint-by-numbers performance, pleasing enough as a distraction, it will get into the finals but on the lower end of the list and is destined for a bottom half finish.
9.) 6.5 out of 10 - Malta (Loop by Sarah Bonnici)
Straightforward pop song - decent beat but nothing revolutionary, and nothing that can overcome weak and obvious lyrics that don't rise to the occasion.
10.) 6.5 out of 10 - Armenia (Jako by Ladaniva)
For a song that relies on too many lengthy passages without any lyrics other than vague sounds, you'd think this track would have some fairly interesting instrumental sections ... but you'd be wrong. The "vaguely ethnic" music doesn't seem to break any new ground, and the female empowerment message seems to barely be there in the lyrics or in the visuals. A lukewarm effort that is a candidate for exclusion from the final.
11.) 6.5 out of 10 - Norway (Ulveham by Gate)
One of the more cinematic offerings of the second night, the song itself is dark, brooding, and while fun as a storytelling device not especially interesting as a song until it reaches the chorus where it soars. Without the chorus and theatricality, this is no better than a 4. As it is, I wonder if it makes the finals.
12.) 6 out of 10 - Dnmark (Sand by Saba)
Take a big beat, belt out the word Sand a few times, and add some lyrics with a couple obvious and simple metaphors like sand flipping through your fingers and building castles out of sand, and voila - you too can have a Eurovision song! This one left me cold. It's ... ok. And never will be anything else.
X.) 6 out of 10 - Italy (La Noia by Angelina Mango)
Often atonal, dissonant sounding pop song whose driving beat is more whining and annoying than envigorating.
13.) 5.5 out of 10 - Estonia (nendest narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi by 5 MIINUST x Puuluup
This feels very much like it is intended as a humorous entry, but for the life of me I feel like I was nowhere near in on the joke. Extra points I guess for utilizing the local language and some local instrumentation but this is a deeply odd and not especially memorable entry.
14.) 5 out of 10 - San Marino (11:11 by Megara)
Loud, obnoxious, and without anything particularly interesting to say. There are a few set pieces in this song that might go HARD on the stage, potentially pulling it into the top 10, but if it was me and I was a voter, I'd avoit it.
15.) 5 out of 10 - Belgium (Before the Party's Over by Mustii)
Slow, boring, and repetitive pseudo-pop song that hopefully will not make it out of the semifinals so we don't have to listen to it on Saturday.
16.) 3 out of 10 - Greece (Zari by Marina Satti)
Dreadful, mostly unpleasant series of disconnected noises that do not cohere into anything that could remotely be called a "song." The only reason I didn't rate this lower is when Satti actually sings she has a beautiful voice, and there are a couple of short passages that sound nice. Otherwise, this is horrifically bad.
