WARNING: Very Angry Post

Xecrio

Xecrio

Europeia's Resident Psychic
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This is going to be more of a rant than a story. It will also have lots of swearing in it, so read at your own discretion.

I fucking hate University. When I started thinking about what I wanted to do when I got older, University was at the top of my list. I saw it as the stepping stone, that would give me the qualifications I needed to go and get a job. I was so intent on going to University right up until it actually hit. My perceptions of the course I'm studying, university life, everything I had imagined was completely different to how it actually played out. Granted, the pandemic all but ruined my first year of university, but there's more to it than that. From the financial aspect to the societal aspect, fuck it all.

I remember travelling to my accomodation for the first time on what would be "fake freshers week." I was mildly nervous but excited at the same time to start my new chapter in life. As soon as my carers had gone, reality set in. I spent most of that first day bawling my eyes out because I was so nervous about starting Uni life. I hated that first week. Sure, I made some good friends but I never really felt like I fitted in. I'm someone who likes alone time. Parties and loud noises should be banned. I don't give a fuck, if you annoy me, I'm going to hate you for the rest of my life. Uni felt like a place for the extroverts, the party-goers, the exact opposite of me. I like staying in my room by myself, reading a book or watching documentaries. Up until December, I relatively enjoyed University. I saw my friends almost every day, I got by financially, I had few worries. Despite, me googling "how to drop out of university" on the first night, things did settle down. Until December.

I went home in early December for the Christmas break, expecting to return to campus on the 31st of January. The UK went into a lockdown during that time, and I have spent the whole of this semester doing all of my work from a desk in my room. I don't have time to write all of this now, I might edit it later, but I'm going to cut it short.

Fuck University. It's so much different from how I imagined it. I thought I would like my course, but it's so fucking boring I feel like I'm balding early. Fuck the people, too. The pretentious, loud, annoying knobheads who won't turn their fucking music off. Fuck money, too. I'm going to be in so much debt when I leave, and I'm going to fucking cry about it. I am incredibly close to dropping out, but I can't because I signed a binding contract for my second-year house, because I'm a fucking idiot.

Thank you, and goodbye.
 
I'm sure others will come through with the cheery advice and words, so I'll leave that for them. I'll come at this from a different perspective.

You have to be willing to face adversity and overcome it. If this is the first time you've faced serious adversity, your first thought shouldn't be to throw your hands in the air and give up.

As much as university is about the classroom education, it's about life education. Being on your own and responsible for yourself, fighting through tough times, and persevering until you achieve what you set out to achieve.

Don't mistake what I'm saying for "just suffer through it and get it done." That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying find ways to power through the adversity. There are all kinds of people at university - you just have to find yours. You've identified who they are not ... and you probably won't find the people you're looking for at the same place you find the party-goers.

Make it a mission to find a support group - and by that I just mean a good group of friends with similar interests. People you can talk to and can relate to ... people who will understand your perspective and can share your experience.

I have more I can share ... but I also have a work meeting in two minutes. So, I'll come back and readdress this if I need to. But I guess the bottom line is this: you can expect adversity in life, so don't be surprised when it hits. And when it does hit, do what you can to fight through it.

Now, all that said - I don't want you to be absolutely miserable. University isn't for everyone. Maybe it isn't for you. But if you feel that university is the path you want to follow ... just tackle this adversity with the support of friends and family. Your time at uni will pass so quickly, and I'm sure that coming out of the pandemic, your experience will be much different than this past year. Don't let an anomalous year compel you to make a rash decision with incomplete information.
 
I know some people where university was the "best time of their life", but I know some people who said it "wasn't for them". Regardless of their view, they decided to do what is best for them. And that is the ultimate question you want to consider; this isn't a decision which can, and should, be made within a short period. Careful reflection and weighing the benefits to the cons will give you the conclusion you want. This will lead you to decide whether university is truly for you.

DH makes a really important point, and I think it's a more wider question--what are you specifically not enjoying. It's clear that you don't enjoy a specific type of people, have you tried exploring other friends, other friend groups etc. People that have more similar interests compared to you, as others. Universities tend to do very well here with their associations and clubs--politics, football, hiking, heck even the smallest stuff like French food! Regardless of your interests, I think it could be beneficial to reach out to those opportunities.

On a more personal view: I understand where you're coming from with regard to working at home in your bedroom. I study online at home, that severely limits my communication to just my lecturers, the odd guest visitor, and my family and friends for when I go out. But, the important thing is that I am enjoying my course and the way that I have flexibility over what I do. That's what makes my law school enjoyable: I enjoy the course and the way it is set up. Moving to a new environment which requires a lot of social engagement is draining to introverts, and people who like to work independently. University is a very social environmental place.

My ultimate point is--consider what isn't making you happy and try exploring other routes. If your ultimate conclusion is that university isn't for you, then don't worry about pulling the "emergency button" and pulling out. No one is going to judge you for it. You tried, and that is what matters. You tried the situation, you tried alternatives, and nothing worked. There is plenty of opportunities if you believe the best is leaving university and trying a different route. Career councillors at universities are best for this--think stuff like apprenticeships, or schemes to involve you in areas that interest you. There's plenty of options.

Your contract point, if you really don't want that; is best being solved by a solicitor. I would have suggested speaking to the other party and explaining your situation to them, and seeing if they are understanding. But, I would speak to a solicitor if you ultimately want to get out of the binding contract. They are trained to help and advise, and they will certainly help you to biggest extent they can.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide, Nate, truly. You know you can message me anytime, any day and I will try my hardest to provide any support you need. University is hard, and it's important you get the support when you need it. I hope you make the decision which is best for you!
 
I can honestly say that I understand your position, to an extent. I had quite a few problems during my bachelor's course and I had to sacrifice a lot to finish it, but ultimately I can say it was worth it because this field is where I feel at home.

And you yourself need to see where you stand on that. Is what you're studying right now something you want to finish? And if so, how far are you willing to go to make sure you do?
There is no one right answer to this, and Dark and DH already mentioned some important points to consider.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck, no matter what choice you make.
 
Good luck, Nate, whatever you choose!

I can't really give advice because uni was like a new world for me because it allowed me to move to Germany, and I also find Economics super interesting.

I think what you mostly need to figure out is the course itself and whether that's your thing at all - the social stuff will come after the pandemic, but that won't really help you if you still find the studies boring.

But I would suggest you mentally give it another chance because life is complicated, and you never know what will spark your interest once the circumstances change.
 
Feeling like you really wanted X and then finding out X isn't what you wanted is perfrectly understandable. For a lot of people, University/College is just what comes 'next'. And sometimes, they find when they go, it isn't for them.

I would say that as DH and Darkslayer say, it's best to start by identifying exactly what's bothering you. It sounds like, at the end of the day, what's bothering you most immediately is lockdown - you were finally enjoying it in December until you got stuck at home. And even if you weren't in University, Lockdown would still be an issue.
 
Thank you all for your kind words and support. I'm calmer than I was, though still stressed and anxious about the situation.

Someone informed me that SFE most likely sent a generic letter to inform me that my application had been approved. They'll update the letter with the correct maintenance loan funds when my evidence is approved. If that isn't the case, then I am totally fucked financially.

I'll take into account the things you have said in this thread. Most likely, I'll still pursue at least the first semester of second year and see how it goes. In terms of the actual course, I love politics. I fell in love with it in 2015 and have been fascinated ever since. I've known for a very long time that this is the course I wanted to do. The teaching, the way it is presented however is boring. 5/6 of my modules next year are optional, so I picked them myself. I'm hoping that they'll prove to be more enjoyable than the one's I had this term.

In short, I'm going to continue to push on as normal through the difficulties. I have people around me who can support me if need be, and I'm sure everything will work out in the end.

EDIT: In terms of the rent, if the statement about SFE is true then I won't have to worry. I have a guarantor for the rent, additionally so it's less of a concern about actually being abi to live there, it's more of a concern how financially fucked I'm going to be at the end of the year. I haven't heard back from the letting agents, but they seemed like nice people when we last spoke, so I'm sure they'll understand if a serious situation arises, they'll understand.
I've never actually had to pursue a case with a solicitor for, so I have no idea how I'd go about doing that. It's probably a lot less complicated than how I imagine it though.
 
Lots of wise words in this thread; good luck regardless Nate :)
 
Wish I could buy you a pint and hear all about it.
 
Update:

I had a phone call with a representative from the student finance team regarding my maintenance loan. I explained that the loan they were offering would not be enough to accommodate my living costs. She explained that I needed to send in evidence to prove that I was eligible for such funding.

I got in touch with my PA who emailed a letter certifying the evidence which was needed on the same day. I sent the evidence to SFE who informed me that they would need 16 working days to approve the evidence.

This morning I received an email stating that I had been granted independent student status for the next academic year. I am waiting for a letter of confirmation which should arrive in the coming days. I am hopeful that this should mean that I am granted the higher rate which would mean that my financial issues are resolved. If the opposite is true, then I am in serious hot water.
 
Fingers crossed it's good news!
 
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