The Spam and the Fury
"Chaos and Carnage"
Written by Maowi
(Europeia - July 30, 2019) - It’s July 13, a Saturday afternoon. An electric fizz saturates the air as the scene for an epic battle is set. The goal: to be the one to accomplish the feat which marks a watershed of Europeia’s history - the forum’s millionth post.
The combat begins as the region’s hardiest and most bloodthirsty spammers gather their arms and take up their positions. Sopo constructs his stronghold firmly in the Games forum, as does an unshakeable Le Libertie - but DictatorAnna10 (DAX), determined to come out on top, attacks on two flanks, sparring with them from her own fortress in the Games forum and simultaneously coordinating a joint effort with UnitedPeoplesOfCentrism (UPC) by hijacking HEM’s barracks in Republic Square. Republic Square is also the site of UPC's tactical diversion effort. DAX’s attack intensifies: her two spam centres in the Games forum appear to be siphoning valuable posts from Sopo’s strongholds - yes, he now has multiple, all in the Games forum too. Meanwhile, HEM, to flagrant disregard, attempts to wield his power through the Holy Court and use the threat of eternal damnation to attain glory. The fighting continues through the evening and into the night, until finally, the million-post flag is captured and the warriors lay down their weapons. It’s time for the big reveal: who has emerged victorious?
It is Darcness who bears the answer, in its golden envelope sealed with the noble Europeian star. The crowd of fighters and spectators alike watch feverishly with bated breath. The star is pulled off the envelope; the paper slid out and shaken open. And the announcement is made to gasps, screams and cheers. Yes, it is Sopo whose blood, sweat and tears have earned him the ultimate prize as he steps up to the podium and beams with pride. He is assailed by a cacophony of despair and glory, anguish and hope. DAX and Le Libertie scream in grief, while UPC seems remarkably unabashed, despite craving Spanish cheese. As HEM wisely points out, however, it is not all about that one post, the single millionth post. It is about the journey the region has made as a whole; the story told by this forum. Every single post has counted towards this effort, little by little shaping Europeia’s history from its founding in 2007 to the active, influential region it is today.
The tale of how Europeia achieved the million-message milestone is certainly a thrilling one (to be detailed at a later date), and was celebrated in fitting style. The Europeian Republican Navy broadcast the happy news on World Factbook Entries across the multiverse, and the Ministry of Culture is brewing large-scale plans (the details are currently classified information) in festivity. So fetch the bunting and clink those glasses: it's party time!
I should probably have clarified somehow that only the first sentence was taken from what HEM said and the rest was ... ah ... extrapolation...
