CINEMA LOUNGE:Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Drinking Game!
Just to be clear: I was barely able to get through The Fellowship of the Ring the book when I tried reading it without my brains seeping out of my ears from boredom. I liked the story enough to keep me going, but I listened to the rest on tape, which makes Tolkien's ponderous prose somewhat palatable. Tolkien tells a great yarn, but his dialogue reads like a language professor...which is what he was.
And seeing as how Europeia is in the business of discussing whether fantasy franchises will be ruined in the near future, I will make this clear: I'm cautiously optimistic about Disney buying Star Wars. On the one hand, George Lucas will never touch the series again, which is great since he got so wrapped up in his toy empire that he dumbed it down for little kids (you know my position on that by now). However, Disney did take Pirates of the Caribbean and beat it into a pulp (before you call me a purist- I liked On Stranger Tides a bit better than At World's End, but they're both nowhere near the first two movies.)
I'm also cautiously optimistic, although much less so, about the Hobbit movies. The decision to make it three movies may just be for profit, but there might actually be enough story to make that work. And there might be six different versions of the movie (24 vs. 48 frames per second, 2D vs. 3D vs. IMAX 3D), but I'll go to the version that looks like a regular movie and not a daytime soap opera thank you very much.
With that in mind- I LOVE the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings film series. And last night, I watched the first movie with my girlfriend and a couple of buddies and, as much as we liked it, we invented a drinking game, taking sips or downing entire glasses, as the situation merits, for certain cheesy or melodramatic moments in the film. You lost if you went to the bathroom.
Don't worry, it was just soda. With the moment that I called, I drank nearly a half liter of Coke, at least, by the end of the night. If I had drunk that much alcohol, I would be dead, even after cooking and eating pad Thai noodles for everyone. You'll see why, and you can play it too!
1.) Take a sip every time they show the Eye of Sauron.
2.) Take a sip every time Gandalf the Grey is an asshole. (BTW, someone called him Gandalf the Gay when I brought up that Ian McKellen is gay.)
3.) Take a sip every time Merry and Pippin do something stupid.
4.) Take a sip whenever Sam is overly sweet, especially to Frodo.
5.) Take a sip every time Frodo looks mopey for the camera. (That was me.)
Fortunately I have a bladder of steel so everybody else lost the contest.
As you can imagine, Frodo looks mopey for the camera for at least half the shots he's in! This leads me to a major, although not deadly problem for the film and the series as a whole, more so for the first film.
I know I'm going to get a lot of heat for this among nerd-kind, but I HATE Frodo. As overwrought as everything else was, the Eye of Sauron was necessary to establish the threat, Gandalf's reaction is understandable because he's aggravated by a bunch of idiots and he cools his jets by film two, Merry and Pippin redeem themselves by the end of the first film, and Sam IS so sweet that even a sentimental person like me gets sick of it a little, but his character develops very well in the second and third films.
But Frodo...ergh! I get what Peter Jackson wanted to do- take an ordinary guy, throw him on an epic quest with a couple of his friends, a bunch of soldiers, and a wizard who clearly knows more about this than anybody else, and show how unprepared said ordinary guy is for the monumental challenges ahead of him. But he literally does NOTHING for the entire first film except whine and snivel and look mopey or scared.
I get that not all heroes who are starting out have to kick ass right away, and that Frodo is just a tiny hobbit, but throughout the film series, Frodo hardly does anything to protect himself, constantly complains about how burdensome carrying the ring is or whatever, and in general is a man-damsel in distress for Gandalf or Sam to save. Even Merry, Pippin, and Sam try to fight throughout the film. Hell, if you want to compare with other newbie heroes, Luke Skywalker flew an X-wing and used the Force to blow up the Death Star despite being greener than the color green. They do make Frodo's character slightly more interesting in the other two movies, but by the end, all I could muster for him was a meh of not caring tinged with bitter hate that they wasted a protagonist.
Fortunately, drinking games, nitpicking, and even Frodo aside, The Lord of the Rings has aged very well. The story is great, most of the characters and dialogue are well done, the battle scenes are terrific, and the makeup, costume design, and CGI are all terrific.
Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring: ****1/2 (one half star off for Frodo)
A very strong start to an excellent fantasy series!
