- Pronouns
- He/Him
4th May, 2020
DEPARTMENT OF WATER AFFAIRS, ARNHELM- Following news that Senate Speaker Lloenflys is expected to get off charges of attempted couping, many across Europeia are becoming dehydrated on purpose, then committing crimes, to get off charges on not being of sound mind.
Following this new trend, the First Minister have announced that a new "Water Police" plan will roll out across the country to stop this trend. Under this plan, police will force-feed you 500 ml of water if they see you on the street and suspect you're a criminal or are about to commit a crime.
Civil rights groups are concerned that this will lead to police being forced to smell the breath of criminals with halitosis, or that there will be chronic problems arising in police from having to carry water jugs around.
The Office of the First Minister is imploring to solve this problem by having police drag hoses around instead attached to fire hydrants, then having police turn on the hose to full blast whenever they see someone.
In other news, Senate Speaker Lloenflys has agreed to being force-fed water three times a day in order to stop being hooked to an IV drip.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a satirical piece. If you would like to join A Real Newspaper, please contact me.
A REAL NEWSPAPER- EUROPEIA'S FINEST NEWS SOURCE
DEPARTMENT OF WATER AFFAIRS, ARNHELM- Following news that Senate Speaker Lloenflys is expected to get off charges of attempted couping, many across Europeia are becoming dehydrated on purpose, then committing crimes, to get off charges on not being of sound mind.
Following this new trend, the First Minister have announced that a new "Water Police" plan will roll out across the country to stop this trend. Under this plan, police will force-feed you 500 ml of water if they see you on the street and suspect you're a criminal or are about to commit a crime.
Civil rights groups are concerned that this will lead to police being forced to smell the breath of criminals with halitosis, or that there will be chronic problems arising in police from having to carry water jugs around.
The Office of the First Minister is imploring to solve this problem by having police drag hoses around instead attached to fire hydrants, then having police turn on the hose to full blast whenever they see someone.
In other news, Senate Speaker Lloenflys has agreed to being force-fed water three times a day in order to stop being hooked to an IV drip.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a satirical piece. If you would like to join A Real Newspaper, please contact me.
A REAL NEWSPAPER- EUROPEIA'S FINEST NEWS SOURCE