- Pronouns
- He/Him
Sloth Scandal!!!
We bring you the shocking truth about Europeia's resident "sloth."
100% true and accurate reporting by guest author, Malashaan
We bring you the shocking truth about Europeia's resident "sloth."
100% true and accurate reporting by guest author, Malashaan
Amid persistent rumors that Sopo intends to run for President in the upcoming election, this reporter staked out the Ministry of Radio looking for a scoop. After two cups of coffee and five donuts, I saw a furry form in a trench coat and what appeared to be a fake mustache trying to sneak out of the back door. It had to be him! It definitely was him, but something wasn't right. He wasn't walking like a sloth! After a painstaking investigation of twenty seconds on Google, this intrepid reporter discovered the biggest scandal of the last five minutes, Sopo is not a sloth!
But what is he then I hear you ask? This reporter can confirm that Sopo is in fact a Koala masquerading as a sloth. It is unclear why he would initiate such a Machiavellian deception, or why he would maintain it for so long. However, I managed to contact a Kangaroo who confirmed she met Sopo once in 1994 and that he is definitely a koala. She provided this picture she took to prove it.
Rare picture of baby Sopo ~ clearly a Koala
The Kangaroo says he hadn't learned to speak at that time but she's 110% certain that he's ashamed of his Australian heritage. "Koala's are despicable creatures. They are inherently lazy and don't even jump. And some of them, I assume, are good people." Don't believe the fake news media who tell you he's a sloth to garner sympathy. The deep state knows everyone loves sloths. This reporter would not be surprised to find out this deception goes all the way to the top. HEM is probably the mastermind, maybe even Nethel himself!
This reporter knows these revelations are shocking, and my even be unwelcome in some quarters, but revealing the depth of the conspiracy of mammalian lies at the heart of the region is a moral imperative that goes beyond common sense. Now you know the truth, use your newfound knowledge irresponsibly. The region is counting on you.
[Ed. Note by Forilian] Written by Guest Writer Malashaan, your very attractive and smart Chief of State who definitely isn’t pretending to be Forilian and praising themselves
