[SATIRE] President-Elect Of_Weimar To Grow Europeian Economy 300% by 2024, Economists Predict


Stuck in 2020
ARNHELM -- After their surprising upset win of the presidency, economists at the University of Europeia (Arnhelm) have predicted that President-elect Of_Weimar will be successful in his bid to pull Europeia up from its deep recession and restore investor confidence in Europeia.

Polls had previously predicted that the political newcomer, who has no experience in Europeian government, had a near 0% chance of winning against the three other heavyweight tickets in this election. These projections only turned more against the Of_Weimar ticket after it briefly dropped out of the race on Tuesday and then promptly reversed course on Wednesday. However, the candidate pulled off a surprising landslide victory against all three other tickets, with the Of_Weimar ticket winning a whopping 101.3% of the vote.

"President Of_Weimar had a really concrete plan to address the economic downturn in this region, and I think that's what ultimately set them apart from the other candidates in the eyes of voters," said one analyst. "The region is currently in the worst recession it has seen since 2008, and no other tickets even mentioned this disaster in their campaigns -- instead, they focused on other issues that were clearly less important to voters, such as the lack of activitiy in the region. To me, that really was a huge oversight on their part. President Of_Weimar was ultimately able to tap into the silent majority of voters with their consistent message to Europeians that, yes, they care about their economic worries and will do the best to address them."

In fact, some economists are optimistic that the Europeian economy could roar back stronger than ever under the guiding hand of President Of_Weimar. One prediction by economists at the University of Western Europeia claims that the Europeian economy will grow up to 300% by 2024, and 500% by 2027. Although President-elect Of_Weimar has conceded that their economic policies may be "painful at first," experts are hopeful that it will be worth it. For reference, Europeia's GDP was 25.235 trillion Europeian Jorts in the first quarter of 2022 ($3050 US).

The president-elect has also released details of their other plans for the presidency, including lengthening the term of the president and Senate to three and five years respectively, modernising education and the Europeian Republican Navy, as well as a climate policy.

In other news, President-elect Of_Weimar has begun negotiations with military suppliers about the purchase of new battleships and warplanes for the Europeian Navy to make it "fit for fighting in the 21st century," which they plan to pay for through increased tax revenue from Europeia's economic rebound.