[SATIRE] President-Elect Calvin Coolidge Banned From Senate

[Forilian]

34 GOLDENBLOCK AVENUE, ARNHELM - In his last act as President of Europeia, President Kazaman has issued an executive order banning Calvin Coolidge from serving in the Europeian Senate. Sources in the Goldenblock confirm that this is an effort from the Kazaman/UPC campaign to safeguard any future presidents as Calvin has once again unseated an incumbent president in their re-election bid while being a sitting Senator.

Legal experts agree that this executive order is unconstitutional. When asked for comment, a former Senate Speaker said that he previously thought controversial executive orders were “more up Calvin’s alley,” and that this new ban may be infringing on Mr Coolidge’s panda rights. However, as all the legal experts we interviewed were also planning a presidential run in the future, they have decided to not speak up in order to conveniently eliminate an opponent.

Calvin Coolidge was elected President earlier today, which the Goldenblock described as being “proof that Senator Calvin Coolidge is a danger to all incumbent Presidents.” It remains unclear whether President Coolidge will rescind the executive order to ban himself from the Senate, but sources within the Calvin Coolidge/GrandfatherClock campaign said that President-Elect Calvin will be too busy planning the overthrow of the next President to get rid of this EO.

In other news, chefs all across the region have expressed deep terror at the food choices of Vice President-elect GrandfatherClock.

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[SkyGreen]

Yet another great article from ARN! The fake news EBC would never report these facts.
Love it, really. Plus, your timing is exquisite

 

[Istillian]

Executive Order to ban GC from all of Europeia's kitchens, when?

 

[Forilian]

Executive Order to ban GC from all of Europeia's kitchens, when?

@Calvin Coolidge please save the region's chefs

 

[GrandfatherClock]

Executive Order to ban GC from all of Europeia's kitchens, when?

I promise I cook good when other people are around!

 

[Vor]

Executive Order to ban GC from all of Europeia's kitchens, when?

I promise I cook good when other people are around!

All your rabbits taste like mace

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

I'm getting what I deserve. That being said, after my next Executive Order I think we will all forget about the time our region had "laws" and view this incident as a minor setback on the road to nirvana.

 

[Altys]

Executive Order to ban GC from all of Europeia's kitchens, when?

This. If this happens I promise I will join the Government Cantina and cook French meals to show my gratitude!

 

[Lethen]

I'm getting what I deserve. That being said, after my next Executive Order I think we will all forget about the time our region had "laws" and view this incident as a minor setback on the road to nirvana.

This seems problematic. Or perhaps dangerous for our democracy.

 

[Comfed]

I'm getting what I deserve. That being said, after my next Executive Order I think we will all forget about the time our region had "laws" and view this incident as a minor setback on the road to nirvana.

This seems problematic. Or perhaps dangerous for our democracy.

Psh... democracy.