- Pronouns
- He/Him
ARNHELM GENERAL HOSPITAL (AGH), ARNHELM- In some truly devastating news, we at the ARN has just received news that Minister of Culture (MiniCult) and Senator Olde Delaware has died of old age. In his absence, his son, New Delaware, has replaced him.
Olde Delaware (1778-2020) was one of the oldest and most beloved people in Europeia. While he was old, he did contribute significantly to our region. He was also a bee, and contributed significantly to the regional pollen count. Furthermore, he drove the economy of his hometown, Wilmington, Delaware, up 16762%, as many of the region’s most powerful people have had to visit Olde Delaware there.
His son, New Delaware, will take over his positions for now. He has promised to be younger than his father so far. The memorial service for Olde Delaware will take place sometime in the future somewhere.
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Olde Delaware (1778-2020) was one of the oldest and most beloved people in Europeia. While he was old, he did contribute significantly to our region. He was also a bee, and contributed significantly to the regional pollen count. Furthermore, he drove the economy of his hometown, Wilmington, Delaware, up 16762%, as many of the region’s most powerful people have had to visit Olde Delaware there.
His son, New Delaware, will take over his positions for now. He has promised to be younger than his father so far. The memorial service for Olde Delaware will take place sometime in the future somewhere.
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This is a satirical piece. If you would like to join A Real Newspaper, please contact me.
A REAL NEWSPAPER- EUROPEIA’S FINEST NEWS SOURCE
