[SATIRE] HEM Condemned For Just Being “Too Damn Good”

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A REAL WORLD ASSEMBLY- Europeian founder HEM was condemned today at the Security Council for just being too good of a nation. The author of the resolution, Calvin Coolidge, told the ARN that he had been trying to reach HEM’s influence for years, but never will reach it because HEM is “too damn good.”

“It’s just not fair, man. I’ve been trying to get to HEM’s level for 8 years, but HEM is on another level altogether. Just last week, he was elected Most Respected Europeian! 14 years and still going strong. We must Condemn him to recognise this unfairness.”

Other Europeians also voted for the resolution. An unnamed Europeian, when reached for interview, said, “HEM’s fashion choices must be condemned. I can tolerate jeans or shorts, but jorts?! Also, he deleted the EBC once. We will never let him live it down, so let’s immortalise it in the Condemn resolution.”

Defender regions, such as the South Pacific, also voted for the resolution, citing Europeia’s raider position in 2008, and how “Europeia is a raider in everything but name.” The South Pacific also cited “an incident” with HEM around 2014, but refused to reveal any other details.

Condemn HEM passed with 99.99% of the vote with one opposed, who apparently didn’t get the memo.
 
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