- Pronouns
- He/Him
SENATIA BUILDING, ARNHELM -- In another bid to empower the Speaker, Senator Cordova and Speaker Calvin Coolidge1 introduced the Speaker Visibility Amendment (2024) on the Senate floor late Sunday. A whole host of changes are proposed, including a giant, 100-metre tall glowing arrow hovering above the Speaker at all times to make the Speaker the most visible person in every room, plugging the Speaker into the wall using a 110V connection to "give them more power," and mandating the Speaker to wear a battery-powered name tag that broadcasts the phrase "I am the Speaker" at 140dB and 3000Hz every 15 seconds.
In a statement given shortly after the bill was introduced, Senator Cordova claimed that this amendment would "incentivise more people to run for the Speakership," noting that the current responsibilities of the position often dissuade potential candidates as there "aren't many incentives for people to run for Speaker." This bill comes after Senator Cordova's Empowering the Speaker Amendment (2024) was vetoed by President UPC over a conflict with the Constitution. Senator Cordova has also introduced another version of the amendment that empowers the Speaker by giving them docket powers, which is currently before the Senate.
While the bill enjoys support amongst the general public, the Europeian Taxpayers' Association (ETA) has expressed concern over the increase in electricity costs stemming from the bill. According to the ETA's estimates, the giant glowing arrow alone is expected to cost $500,000 Europeian jorts per month to operate. ETA spokesperson, Dr. Rob Cash, said in a statement that "while the ETA supports the idea of empowering the Speaker in principle, we urge the Senate to consider cheaper options such as simply buying the Speaker some light-up sneakers to wear. This option would make the Speaker more visible while saving the taxpayer millions of dollars per year."
The amendment is expected to face a charged debate in the Senate, as this current issue has amped up many Senators. Speaking before the Senate earlier today, Senator John Laurens said that while he also supports the idea of empowering the Speaker in general, care should be exercised to "make sure that people aren’t aspiring to be speaker just for the giant arrow on top of their heads." Meanwhile, Speaker Calvin Coolidge says that the power provided from the 110V cord will help supplement his energy in addition to his bamboo diet, and should prevent him from napping again on the Senate floor due to energy crashes.
In other news, the Chancellery has reportedly overheated and shut down due to an amendment from the Senate that would see an infinite loop of referenda being held on public versus private results in elections.
A REAL NEWSPAPER -- EUROPEIA'S FINEST NEWS SOURCE
1 This article is inspired by Calvin's comment on Discord
In a statement given shortly after the bill was introduced, Senator Cordova claimed that this amendment would "incentivise more people to run for the Speakership," noting that the current responsibilities of the position often dissuade potential candidates as there "aren't many incentives for people to run for Speaker." This bill comes after Senator Cordova's Empowering the Speaker Amendment (2024) was vetoed by President UPC over a conflict with the Constitution. Senator Cordova has also introduced another version of the amendment that empowers the Speaker by giving them docket powers, which is currently before the Senate.
While the bill enjoys support amongst the general public, the Europeian Taxpayers' Association (ETA) has expressed concern over the increase in electricity costs stemming from the bill. According to the ETA's estimates, the giant glowing arrow alone is expected to cost $500,000 Europeian jorts per month to operate. ETA spokesperson, Dr. Rob Cash, said in a statement that "while the ETA supports the idea of empowering the Speaker in principle, we urge the Senate to consider cheaper options such as simply buying the Speaker some light-up sneakers to wear. This option would make the Speaker more visible while saving the taxpayer millions of dollars per year."
The amendment is expected to face a charged debate in the Senate, as this current issue has amped up many Senators. Speaking before the Senate earlier today, Senator John Laurens said that while he also supports the idea of empowering the Speaker in general, care should be exercised to "make sure that people aren’t aspiring to be speaker just for the giant arrow on top of their heads." Meanwhile, Speaker Calvin Coolidge says that the power provided from the 110V cord will help supplement his energy in addition to his bamboo diet, and should prevent him from napping again on the Senate floor due to energy crashes.
In other news, the Chancellery has reportedly overheated and shut down due to an amendment from the Senate that would see an infinite loop of referenda being held on public versus private results in elections.
A REAL NEWSPAPER -- EUROPEIA'S FINEST NEWS SOURCE
1 This article is inspired by Calvin's comment on Discord
it was a bit... shocking no one noticed them earlier, but watt can one do