Punchwood Accused of Soliciting Cabinet Job in Return for Endorsement
By Deepest House
“Punchwood tried to bribe both of our tickets, a government position in exchange for his political support,” said Izzy, after approaching the EBC correspondent to disclose the matter on behalf of the campaigns. The campaigns provided evidence to support their claims, which the EBC reviewed and used to inform this article.
When it became clear that he would not be in the run-off election, Punchwood approached Izzy with a claim that Rand and GraVandius were seeking his endorsement and had offered him a Cabinet position.
“Rand and GraV are already asking for my endorsement in such a runoff, so it’s only fair that I ask you why I should support you in a runoff,” Punchwood said to Izzy. Izzy responded by praising Rand’s work ethic, but criticizing his recent tendency work through sickness, stating that he’ll “put work before his health and in the long term that will end poorly.”
“Listen they offered me a Cabinet position working with both branches of the exec regarding dispatches and foreign updates. It’s tempting but I’m still open to supporting you,” Punchwood responded. The conversation then ended with Izzy stating he need to speak to his running mate Comrade Prim.
Punchwood’s claim to posses the offer of a Cabinet position from the Rand campaign was false. Not knowing the above conversation between Punchwood and Izzy took place, Rand and GraVandius contacted Punchwood to seek his endorsement. When approached by that ticket, Punchwood claimed Izzy offered him to be the new chief of staff should he win. “It’s hard to say no to that. However, I am prepared to hear you both out,” he said. The claim of an offer to be chief of staff was also false.
“Chief of Staff is obviously a nice offer which makes sense for Izzy due to that experience gap,” GraVandius responded. He then counteroffered a position within the Ministry of Communications to manage the upvote squad and inter-executive branch collaboration on dispatches and external communications.
Punchwood inquired if the position would be a Cabinet-level post, but GraVandius told him it would operate effectively as a deputy-level job within the ministry. Punchwood pledged to respond to the offer shortly.
Meanwhile, Izzy had been discussing the situation with his running mate, Comrade Prim. With those discussions complete, he reached back out to Punchwood.
“After discussing the issue, Prim and I have decided that you should just go ahead and give your endorsement to Rand. We aren’t interested,” he told Punchwood. From there the conversation devolved into interpersonal squabbling, with Punchwood admitting the offer to be chief of staff was false.
“Izzy, Rand never even offered me a Cabinet position … I wanted to endorse the person who most shared my values. You chose not say what made you the better candidate which is why I’m disappointed,” Punchwood said.
The conversation ended shortly thereafter, with Punchwood characterizing the situation as a test of Izzy’s character and balance between values and ambition. “Had you offered me a job, it would be the latter for sure, but you never once attempted to big yourself up, just attack your opponent,” referring to the criticism of Rand campaigning hard through sickness.
Afterward, Punchwood publicly endorsed the Rand/GraVandius ticket, which prompted an immediate response from Izzy’s running mate Comrade Prim. “Interesting endorsement from Punchwood.... It sure would be very odd if Punchwood ends up being nominated for a Ministry position if they win,” he said. Comrade Prim would later go on to say “[H]is insinuation that he was being offered a Ministry, and then trying to shake us down for similar promises, was beyond the pale.”
As additional endorsements continued to roll in for the Rand/GraVandius ticket, Rand took the opportunity to directly address any concern that Punchwood’s endorsement was the result of offering a cabinet position. “[N]o cabinet post was discussed with Punchwood, and we are not planning any nominations at this time. Punchwood's endorsement is based on the merit of our ticket, and we are immensely grateful for his support,” he said at a campaign stop during the run-off election.
Afterward, Rand privately thanked Punchwood for the endorsement. Punchwood responded by commenting “You had the best vision and experience for the job and also showed you had the passion for the job – not giving in to bribery.”
Rand also told Punchwood that he would announce that no cabinet post was planned, and he asked if Punchwood planned to make a public statement that Izzy and Comrade Prim had offered a Cabinet position to him. “I won’t be telling people that Izzy offer me one and I’d prefer it if you didn’t either,” Punchwood said as he demurred. “Elections should be won on ideas not background deals or dirt on other candidates.”
Privately, Rand spoke with Comrade Prim about the situation, and Punchwood’s alleged scheme was revealed. Shortly thereafter, Izzy initiated contact with this correspondent. The EBC reached out to Punchwood for comment.
“I never made a request,” Punchwood said about soliciting a Cabinet level job in return for an endorsement. “When I recognised that I had lost the election I knew that I would be expected to make an endorsement … so I decided upon a test. I would tell each side that the other had offered me a Cabinet position but that I was still potentially interested in endorsing them and see how they would respond,” he said. “To be honest I expected both sides to offer me a Cabinet position in return for my endorsement, however I was pleasantly surprised when neither side did. I expected them both to care more about acquiring political power than disagreeing with backroom deals and dark politics.”
While politicking and wheeling and dealing are nothing new to Europeia, potentially shopping an endorsement in return for a Cabinet position would represent a turn from recent political form in the region. The evidence reviewed by the EBC indicates the possibility that Punchwood did actively, though implicitly, seek a Cabinet level post in return for his endorsement. However, no evidence emerged that an explicit quid pro quo offer was ever made.
