[Interview] Project Moirai: An Interview with Sarah






Project Moirai:
An Interview with Sarah

Interview conducted by Istillian




(Europeia - December , 2021) Project Moirai is a Europeian initiative interested in investigating and discussing the experiences and challenges faced by women across NationStates (NS), and providing a medium for not only their voices to be heard, but for us to reach out to the leaders that we can draw insight from and educate others about. In the first in our series of interviews under the banner of Project Moirai, our interviewee was asked eleven questions, some challenging and some quite uplifting, about their time across the game. This interviewee in particular has considerable experience in many regions, especially in cultural fields across the game, has acted as delegate in multiple regions, has considerable military experience, and is always seen to be bringing a loaf of enthusiasm to anything that they have set their mind to.

As with any story, before Sarah had become the well known player of today, we set out to discover what had led her to NS, and to see how long it took her to go from being a nation gameside, to then exploring the forum and Discord environment. "So I actually went backwards ... I joined Discord first!" Sarah then clarified, "I was in a religious server (Islam) and completely unrelated to NS at all. Some guy ... was like "hey wanna visit my online RP [role-play] family?" and my curious ass was like "sounds weird, let's go!" So I joined the family server and it was a small NS family ... then they told me about NS and I made my nation and joined their region. Which died very shortly after joining."

Sarah's experience in a new and smaller region does seem to be a fairly common for some young or inexperienced regions that struggle with the recruitment of new players, and yet with Sarah she didn't give up her newfound interest, so we sought to find out a little more about her background after her region died, asking what regions she had been a part of, and what leadership positions she then found herself in. "I've been a lot of places, honestly ... The North Pacific, The Ragerian Imperium, The Galactic Order [as] culture Moff, Kingdom of Great Britain (KoGB) [as] culture Secretary. The Empire of Mare Nostrum (EMN), [which] is probably my spiciest region. At the time I didn't really know the history! I joined because a friend was like "Hey I like this region." EMN was all like "Yo we hate LKE (Land of Kings and Emperors)" and I was all "Okay cool ... what's LKE?"

“[My] positions in EMN included Tribunal Prefect, Senator Prefect, and Media Prefect. Tribunal Prefect was like the President. I was also an admin on the discord and a forum admin. Osiris, I was shortly a Culture Visier, but it did not last long. The Rejected Realms [as] delegate, culture officer multiple times, outreach officer. I was also a Lieutenant in the Rejected Realms Army, and Lieutenant Warden in The Grey Wardens (TGW) [where] I was the delegate for a while, too! Balder [as] culture minister. Just recently joined the jomsvikings as well! Euro[peia] as culture deputy."

Needless to say, Sarah's NS experience is not only extensive, but broad, so with all of her time here, and particularly because she has seen the game from the perspective of many different regions, we asked what had been the most significant barrier in her NS career. "I think it's been my personality ... like I'm usually a little hyper and fun and I don't do political speak very often, so I feel like sometimes people tend to write me off or not take me as important/serious. I kinda feel like sometimes I have to fight to be heard."

Sarah had made such a good point to look at, regarding her own voice being heard, and we dug in a little deeper and queried if she'd been treated a little differently in leadership positions, for better or for worse. "EMN. I was definitely treated differently. They gave me all the power, so you would think I was equal, right? But, it was such a struggle. Like I couldn't actually do anything. I'm an admin, but don't actually administer anyone? It was really a frustrating experience and led me to leave on ... bad terms. I'm not gonna mince words. I left in a bad way, rage quit. Which definitely wasn't positive. And I was kinda bitter about all of that for a long time. And I think there's been other positions like that too. Where I'm equal in titles but not really equal, if that makes sense?"

This message seemed to resonate similarly with interviews from the Women & NationStates Symposium, conducted back in 2016. Though not exactly the same, there did seem to be a trend of some women being given higher authority positions, but when it came to the administration of those roles it was a little unclear with how much power was actually given. Leaning into this issue though, we asked Sarah what she believed were the the most dangerous behaviours or traits that have derailed female leaders’ careers on NationStates, from other players. "This one is harder for me. I never really felt like. Like it was because I was woman. I always felt my barriers were because of my inexperience politically, my personality, or a mixture. I never thought "wow is this because I'm a woman?"

This response seemed positive, and thankfully also reflected a generally more inclusive experience. Curiously though, we probed Sarah a little further as to what kind of contributions were now most rewarding to her as a player, and what she was most proud of accomplishing in her career so far, apart from becoming a notorious bully on the playground stealing people's lunch money. "GETTING PEOPLE TO PARTICIPATE IN THINGS!!" Sarah said. "It's my favorite. Being that pushy annoying person that convinces people to do things. It's so exciting to finally get that "yes" from a person." Although things took a dire turn when she responded further saying: "Speaking of lunch money, am I getting paid for this interview?"

As the interviewer professionally deflected this statement to query Sarah further on her accomplishments, Sarah answered in kind: "I think honestly what I'm most proud of is not letting my negative experiences define me. Not really an accomplishment exactly. But, it's a happy thought. I've done so many events and helped with so many different things. But it's just what I do. Not necessarily something I feel proud of because it's just me being me." This optimism seemed to be key to Sarah's influence across the game, and yet it seemed important to understand if there were any changes she would like to see across NationStates that reflect on how women are treated in the game. "I feel like it's such a different game nowadays, I'm not sure. I don't feel like I see women treated a particular way. I think it helps that there are women in the game now who are kicking ass and doing it well and not just using the woman card. They're out there saying "I am woman and you will treat me well" and [I don't know], I feel like it's working. Like there's so many badass women out there. Look at [Grea Kriopia], First Warden in TGW? She's badass. I sincerely hope that she doesn't feel mistreated just because she's female, or mistreated at all to be honest."

Sarah's point about NS being such a different game nowadays again resonated with the inspiration for Project Moirai, and yet working in the foreign affairs fields particularly can be quite trying, as there are some smaller regions, or regions blacklisted by others that could be seen as having exclusionary behaviour, informal “boys clubs” formed in leadership positions in some regions, or male players that could make some player uncomfortable, and we were interested to see Sarah's perspective on this as being particularly problematic as a female player. "I don't really see it, no. Like I've gone in a discord and been uncomfortable but not because I'm woman but because they're being a-holes. Like we should all be uncomfortable with people being racists. I think I've just been lucky. I just don't recall feeling or seeing something sexist. Maybe it's again my personality. I give off strong mom vibes and no one wants to harrass a mom? Or maybe I'm just oblivious."

Sarah continued on this, reflecting on her recent experiences. "My experience in TRR versus Balder has been eye opening. TRR is a lot slower to trust and it doesn't matter how you prove your loyalty, it will take years before you really crack that hard outer shell. Whereas Balder has embraced me with open arms and welcomed me. Is that because TRR is a boys club? I'm not sure. I never felt I wasn't welcomed in the circle because I was female. It felt more like I just wasn't NS old enough for them."

The honesty Sarah provided here was very welcome, and her perspective on the different reception from both Balder in comparison to TRR, with that slow build up of trust over the almost immediate welcoming was such a stark difference, but any player could expect a similar reception no matter their background. In response to this reflection by the interviewer, Sarah was quick to reply. "I think a lot of people don't expect that! It's sort of spread about that Balder lives in a cave of doom and gloom and no change. But I feel like I'm proof that that narrative is false. I wouldn't stay somewhere that didn't feel welcoming. I've been there before and I'm not going back #QueenOfBalder #Goals."

On her mention of future goals, and given there has been a few changes to her career and leadership roles on NS recently, it was important to us to find out what aspirations Sarah now had looking to the future. "I've always been a bit of a Cosmo, and I'm actually gonna try being more regionalist for a while. Try something different, see how it works out. My future goals are to continue in Balder and really focus … I am here for that, and the thought makes me happy."

Sarah's ambition for changing the perception and narrative that some outsiders may have of Balder is an admirable goal to see, and yet as an aficionado on community engagement, with an enthusiasm and eagerness that is hard to match, it certainly seems like she would be more than welcome as a leader in their community.

Sarah has proven herself to be a reliable and determined individual, capable in the most demanding of leadership roles such as delegate, and as culture minister in an abundance of regions, and her enthusiasm and eagerness is truly remarkable. So for anyone beginning their career on NS, and for those that may be daunted by the amount of opportunity around them, we topped off our discussion by asking what advice she may have for others. "I think my advice would be to stay strong. As easy as it is to hate on NS, I've actually learned a lot that has helped me in real life. I think it's easy to get in the mindset of who you don't like on NS. Negativity is so easy. But I would advise people to remember the good things. To make real friends. That it can have a positive impact. Like asking for a raise. Getting a new job. People have helped me write professional emails that have gotten actual results. And I'm definitely more confident about things in real life, too. Having a good community is so important! So that's my advice. Know your worth, know the value of friendship."


 
A fantastic interview! I am so glad to have known Sarah and to have worked alongside her in Balder!

The passion and the effort she puts into her work is unique and I hope she keeps up the great job!

Also, #QueenOfBalder #Goals, really? You just got here and it's #CoupTime already? 😛
 
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