A Crazy Week, Indeed
Its Time in Brief
written by Unmighty Hezekon, Minister of Music
An Editorial
There's A Virus
In her first witless address to the nation-at-large, newly-coined-and-minted First Minister @Dax gave a poor fireside chat on Tuesday, 17 March. She tone-deafly attempted to draw people together (and at a time when we are all supposed to be standing six feet, or two meters, apart from each other) and raise their collective spirits in this trying time, both in Europeia and without. As she should have known, any attempt at using humor as a means of dispelling fear and worry is a lost cause, as it is improper for someone of her esteemed status to show joviality. This author extends the offer to call out for Dax's resignation post-haste, following she immediately delete the article in question and repent for her blasphemy.
YES, But Not the Band
On March 20, 2020, at 9:03pm, former senator Sopo made a post in the political parties section of our nation. In it were some scant questions vaguely addressing the reader, and all were worded as to be answered in the positive or the affirmative. It is this answer that is the namesake of the party, the party of YES. And this party is very fond of this name.
Former Chief of State HEM soon entered into this thread, to pose to Sopo the Sloth some questions concerning the latter's new party. One of these questions was about the platform and policies of the party in question. Sopo's response was glib, but terribly informative. "Yes! We're for the common good of Europeia." HEM, pressing further asked, "What are some specific policies you'd implement?" This was met with a congratulatory message from the other honored citizen in the room, as well as one of thanks, with regards to the successful submission to join the party. Unknown to HEM, he had done exactly such a move, and attempted to correct this egregious mistake, stating he "want[ed] to join a party that actually has a real manifesto." Such a compliment was received invitingly from the party's founder. Having made himself abundantly clear with his motives, he again thanked the former Chief of State, and assured him his submission would be processed in a timely manner. What a treat!
Later on, in Discord, HEM would air his thoughts a bit more loquaciously: "I think the thing that rubbed me the wrong way is that […] this new 'YES' whatever is clearly just a clique for buddies to vote for each other, openly with no policy agenda or goals." As if it didn't have any. On the contrary, when asked to give a statement about this YES party, its self-titled poster boy, Deputy Minister of Music United Vietussia, would explain: "YES" and "fin" were the answers given, and with them such extraordinary depth was unexpected, yet much appreciated. When asked to go even deeper with the explanation, the lad obliged: "that is the explanatory statement[.] yes[.]"
How anyone is unsure of this party's motives, structure, or reason for being, is beyond this author. Clearly, the uninitiated simply haven't drunk enough of their wine at the door. (On a side note: the cloaks do come in twelve, yes twelve different sizes, so no one needs to feel excluded from the tent.)
Senate Size and Selection
Yesterday, March 21, 2020 anno domini, we finally got ourselves a new, freshly-laundered Senate. A 73st Senate of nine people long. A Senate consisting mostly of known faces, and a couple new ones. @Lloenflys, @Prim, @Sopo, @Deepest House, @Darcness, @Calvin Coolidge, and @Olde Delaware were elected to this new Senate with their wigs placed firmly on their headcaps and heart medication in their coat pockets, while @TheNationofthePeople and @Rotasu came in, just barely high enough to step over the bump in the floor, but with their bright eyes sparkling with soon-to-be-lost excitement. We thank @Mr. Verteger, @The Council of Aviontech, @McEntire, and @ROE for running for the Senate. This author, too, had made an attempt at running, but sadly had pulled his standing, and so was not on the ballot.
Many, many people were excited to get such a large body in place. So many people. Recently current Speaker of the Senate Lloenflys showed mild excitement at the news, stating "BIG SENATE[.] BIG SENATE[.] WE GOT THE BIG SENATE." This author assures you that a majority, and not simply a plurality, were happy to see such a vast Senate stroll into their cushy-chaired building. But there was one voice that was loudest among all. Vice Chancellor Drecq, who oversaw the election, congratulated the new team on Discord, saying, "I just want to you all to know that I hate large Senates, I am disappointed in all of you, and I am happy that I will be taking a vacation that hopefully lasts for the entirety of this Senate term." High praise from the VC. He went on to state that he has "absolutely no faith at all" that the Senate could recombine the executive, something that the entire region supports, and that he "half think[s ]" that the legal body will "manage to somehow fuck up the Judicature Act review." He further went on to state that it was the "worst possible Senate [he] could imagine to actually legislate […] what should happen with the executive," comparing their potential to "a guy who can perfectly calculate what arc a basketball needs to travel to make a no net 3 pointer [who] then falls flat on his face and breaks both his arms and shits himself in front of the girl he likes."
Very powerful stuff, indeed. And it was with this the new Senate was lauded into their jobs. In the distance, however, HEM could be heard wondering where all the people went, and shouting from the top of his tower, asking why no one new gets involved.
3/20/2020
[9:35 PM] HEM: I think the thing that rubbed me the wrong way is that for its entire history, the ECP has been about quality (not automatically endorsing their own candidates, holding a vote etc.) and this new "YES" whatever is clearly just a clique for buddies to vote for each other, openly with no policy agenda or goals.
3/21/2020
[12:13 PM] Lloenflys: BIG SENATE
[12:13 PM] Lloenflys: BIG SENATE
[12:13 PM] Lloenflys: WE GOT THE BIG SENATE
[12:20 PM] Drecq™: I have absolutely no faith at all that this Senate is legislatively up to the task of recombining the executive. And I half think theyll manage to somehow fuck up the Judicature Act review.
[12:23 PM] Drecq™: This is the perfect Senate to discuss what should happen with the executive. And the worst possible Senate I could imagine to actually legislate it.
[12:23 PM] Drecq™: Like a guy who can perfectly calculate what arc a basketball needs to travel to make a no net 3 pointer and then falls flat on his face and breaks both his arms and shits himself in front of the girl he likes.
[5:42 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: YES
[5:42 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: fin
[5:43 PM] Minister of Music Unmighty Hez: I would like an explanatory statement
[5:43 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: that is the explanatory statement
[5:43 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: yes
[9:35 PM] HEM: I think the thing that rubbed me the wrong way is that for its entire history, the ECP has been about quality (not automatically endorsing their own candidates, holding a vote etc.) and this new "YES" whatever is clearly just a clique for buddies to vote for each other, openly with no policy agenda or goals.
3/21/2020
[12:13 PM] Lloenflys: BIG SENATE
[12:13 PM] Lloenflys: BIG SENATE
[12:13 PM] Lloenflys: WE GOT THE BIG SENATE
[12:20 PM] Drecq™: I have absolutely no faith at all that this Senate is legislatively up to the task of recombining the executive. And I half think theyll manage to somehow fuck up the Judicature Act review.
[12:23 PM] Drecq™: This is the perfect Senate to discuss what should happen with the executive. And the worst possible Senate I could imagine to actually legislate it.
[12:23 PM] Drecq™: Like a guy who can perfectly calculate what arc a basketball needs to travel to make a no net 3 pointer and then falls flat on his face and breaks both his arms and shits himself in front of the girl he likes.
[5:42 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: YES
[5:42 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: fin
[5:43 PM] Minister of Music Unmighty Hez: I would like an explanatory statement
[5:43 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: that is the explanatory statement
[5:43 PM] UV, Poster Boy of YES: yes
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