- Pronouns
- he/him
For the first time since 2016, I have no desire to do anything in this game.
It’s a really strange feeling. It’s not quite the feeling you get when you “beat” a game. For the first few weeks, I couldn’t really place what the feeling was. It feels more like I have nothing else to add. After all, this game has been an almost daily part of my life for the better part of 7 years. This game has been with me through some of the hardest years of my life. And I’d be willing to bet it will continue to be with me through the good things to come.
In a lot of ways, it’s been nice to log off. Touch some grass if you will. Actually not really, I think I probably spend just as much time online as I did a year ago. But you get it. It’s nice to have a little change of pace.
I don’t think I realized how burnt out I was until after I had nothing to do. Ever since I joined Europeia, I’ve either been working toward a higher position or working to fulfill the said position. That’s a lot of time sunk into this region. And don’t get me wrong, I’d do it all over again! But I think going forward I need to put better effort into pacing myself. Not being afraid to say no as it were.
Yesterday was a good day. Hung out with some friends. Went to an event where we ate pancakes. Locked myself in the library for a couple of hours and ground out some work I’d been holding off on doing. Came home and watched football and Formula 1. Clutched up in the Fantasy Football league I share with my high school friends. Went for a little walk then watched my TV shows before going to bed. In other words, my ideal day.
As I’m writing this, I’ve kind of realized I don’t know who I’m writing this for. I’m not trying to encourage anyone to do anything different. I think this is just for me. Maybe to put in writing what I’ve had on my mind.
I think I will for sure commit more time to Europeia eventually. Isn’t it a joke that no one truly leaves NS? I’m sure I’m not the first person to feel these things about this game.
Lately, I’ve started to practice the guitar again. There’s a certain untouchable satisfaction to feeling the strings bend under your fingers. Make music. Feel emotions you’ve never felt before. My fingers hurt though. Not used to the pressure.
Ok, that’s it bye.
It’s been about four weeks since I wrote this. I didn’t intend to publish this, and I haven’t edited it. I just don’t want my little newspaper space to be archived just yet. Actually, it’s a very real possibility I’ll just delete this when I inevitably get embarrassed by my past self.