President Writinglegend has just been elected to his third consecutive term, and many in the region are concerned about the possibility of burnout, and wondering if the region will get stale after prolonged exposure to one leader. Faux News sent this reporter to investigate these claims, but I found out something much more horrifying instead: Writinglegend is turning into a statue.
When I arrived at the Goldenblock I brushed past the dozens of broom closets littering the halls, all emanating various grunts and moans, and went straight to the President's office, where I saw him flailing around on the floor, as his back had become a stone shell of sorts, and made it difficult to stand. He explained to me the Curse of Anumia, where all Presidents that tried to match his mythical Presidency would gradually turn to stone, becoming completely encased on the term's penultimate day.
Startled by this news, I quickly ran out of the office, determined to get to the bottom of this mystifying event. I decided to go the person who might know the most about Anumia's motives, his son Kraketopia. "Oh yes, Anumia did always like to dabble in the dark arts," Kraketopia explained nervously, while wearing a french maid outfit, "I apologize for the attire, my Haley just loves to dress me up while I do chores around the house. I'd protest, but I leave those sort of things to men of the more spirited sort." I had the feeling Kraketopia would have kept pathetically rambling on for ages if I didn't interrupt him, so I slapped him across the face and requested he move on. "Right," said the Kraken, rubbing his face, "Well, Anumia was obsessed with his legacy, so he made a deal with the devil on his last day in office that nobody would ever surpass his time in the Goldenblock. The unfortunate side effect of this deal being that Anumia would be cursed with that terrible Australian accent of his."
I left the effeminate Kraken in search of Anumia himself, and I found him spitting water for coins in a nearby park. I confronted him about the curse, hoping to get some answers. Instead, I only heard the splashing of the water as it poured on the ground. It was at this point I realized I had been talking to a fountain, so I decided not to file this report, to protect my pride.
When I arrived at the Goldenblock I brushed past the dozens of broom closets littering the halls, all emanating various grunts and moans, and went straight to the President's office, where I saw him flailing around on the floor, as his back had become a stone shell of sorts, and made it difficult to stand. He explained to me the Curse of Anumia, where all Presidents that tried to match his mythical Presidency would gradually turn to stone, becoming completely encased on the term's penultimate day.
Startled by this news, I quickly ran out of the office, determined to get to the bottom of this mystifying event. I decided to go the person who might know the most about Anumia's motives, his son Kraketopia. "Oh yes, Anumia did always like to dabble in the dark arts," Kraketopia explained nervously, while wearing a french maid outfit, "I apologize for the attire, my Haley just loves to dress me up while I do chores around the house. I'd protest, but I leave those sort of things to men of the more spirited sort." I had the feeling Kraketopia would have kept pathetically rambling on for ages if I didn't interrupt him, so I slapped him across the face and requested he move on. "Right," said the Kraken, rubbing his face, "Well, Anumia was obsessed with his legacy, so he made a deal with the devil on his last day in office that nobody would ever surpass his time in the Goldenblock. The unfortunate side effect of this deal being that Anumia would be cursed with that terrible Australian accent of his."
I left the effeminate Kraken in search of Anumia himself, and I found him spitting water for coins in a nearby park. I confronted him about the curse, hoping to get some answers. Instead, I only heard the splashing of the water as it poured on the ground. It was at this point I realized I had been talking to a fountain, so I decided not to file this report, to protect my pride.
