The recent Europeian Achievement Awards along with the current presidential election both show that our region simply loves our World Assembly Delegate and Minister of the Interior, Mousebumples. Many would describe her as kind, helpful, and a hard worker. What many of us don't know is the terrible secret she has been hiding from us, with deadly consequences. A new poll from the EBC asks several questions about "Mousebumbles", and her recent run for Vice-President. Many assumed this was a typo on the part of the poll's creator, Notolecta, but Faux News has uncovered the truth: Mousebumples has a secret identity... a bumbling, incompetent secret identity.
Faux News recently interviewed Notolecta, to provide some insight on this subject. "I saw the whole thing, soldier. The whole thing. I was in my bunker, a place to hide from those daggum Japs- I haven't forgotten Pearl Harbor you S.O.B.s! Anyway, me and my machine gun saw the whole thing. There I was, polishing my weapons and whispering sweet nothings to them, when I heard some rustling in the bushes. That's when I fired my entire stock of ammunition in the general direction and went to investigate. My apologies to the Somerset family, I'm sure Shin will make a quick recovery. But, back to the Mouse story. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone that looked just like Mousebumples. I pulled out my sniper telescope to see what was up. Well, there she was just walking around, but then, all of a sudden, she tripped. The Mousebumples I know would never lose her footing like that. Therefore, this is clearly an attempt to let her hair down, so to speak, and mess up every now and then. After that, I heard some rustling in the bushes again and fired off another round. Again, my apologies to the Somerset family, and I'm sure Shin will make a quick recovery."
Reeling from this startling revelation, Faux News spoke to a close friend of Mousebumples, President Kraketopia. "It wouldn't surprise me to hear that the pressure is getting to her. She had to take on a lot of extra work this term, because much of the work for the Ministries wasn't getting done. I mean, I would've fired the inactive Ministers, but I said then and I will say again now, my term will end eventually, and someone will hire new Ministers. There is no need for me to get involved and complicate matters. And see, I was right all along. My term is ending and this problem is sorting itself out. As far as Mousebumples, I think she is just looking to cut loose every now and then and make a few mistakes. We all know she doesn't get to do it that often. If she needs to create an alternate identity to do so, that's fine by me. Heck, Lexus has an alternate identity, too. He calls it 'Vacation Lexus'. I never see that guy anymore, I wonder why."
Clearly, this scandal goes all the way to the top. In our most important interview yet, Faux News decided to go straight to the source and interview Mousebumples directly. "So, you think just because I tripped one time I have an alter ego I use to make mistakes? That seems really complicated and unnecessary." As she turned to leave, I couldn't help but find myself agreeing with her. Perhaps this was going too far, and there was no reason - suddenly, I hear a stumble, and look up to see that Mousebumples had tripped on her way to the door. It looks like Mousebumbles strikes again.
Faux News recently interviewed Notolecta, to provide some insight on this subject. "I saw the whole thing, soldier. The whole thing. I was in my bunker, a place to hide from those daggum Japs- I haven't forgotten Pearl Harbor you S.O.B.s! Anyway, me and my machine gun saw the whole thing. There I was, polishing my weapons and whispering sweet nothings to them, when I heard some rustling in the bushes. That's when I fired my entire stock of ammunition in the general direction and went to investigate. My apologies to the Somerset family, I'm sure Shin will make a quick recovery. But, back to the Mouse story. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone that looked just like Mousebumples. I pulled out my sniper telescope to see what was up. Well, there she was just walking around, but then, all of a sudden, she tripped. The Mousebumples I know would never lose her footing like that. Therefore, this is clearly an attempt to let her hair down, so to speak, and mess up every now and then. After that, I heard some rustling in the bushes again and fired off another round. Again, my apologies to the Somerset family, and I'm sure Shin will make a quick recovery."
Reeling from this startling revelation, Faux News spoke to a close friend of Mousebumples, President Kraketopia. "It wouldn't surprise me to hear that the pressure is getting to her. She had to take on a lot of extra work this term, because much of the work for the Ministries wasn't getting done. I mean, I would've fired the inactive Ministers, but I said then and I will say again now, my term will end eventually, and someone will hire new Ministers. There is no need for me to get involved and complicate matters. And see, I was right all along. My term is ending and this problem is sorting itself out. As far as Mousebumples, I think she is just looking to cut loose every now and then and make a few mistakes. We all know she doesn't get to do it that often. If she needs to create an alternate identity to do so, that's fine by me. Heck, Lexus has an alternate identity, too. He calls it 'Vacation Lexus'. I never see that guy anymore, I wonder why."
Clearly, this scandal goes all the way to the top. In our most important interview yet, Faux News decided to go straight to the source and interview Mousebumples directly. "So, you think just because I tripped one time I have an alter ego I use to make mistakes? That seems really complicated and unnecessary." As she turned to leave, I couldn't help but find myself agreeing with her. Perhaps this was going too far, and there was no reason - suddenly, I hear a stumble, and look up to see that Mousebumples had tripped on her way to the door. It looks like Mousebumbles strikes again.
