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HEM
E-Mensa
Managing Editor
ENN's satirical arm, E-Mensa, recently learned that President Sopo's nominee to replace outgoing AG Lloenflys was actually his second choice.
Sopo appointed Pichtonia to be Attorney General quickly after Lloenfly's announcement he would be stepping down from the Attorney General's office. But prior to announcing Pichtonia, Sopo had offered the office to another candidate — Bowzin.
When confronted with this rumor, President Sopo's office doesn't deny it.
"President Sopo is hoping that his AG will slowroll any investigations into his use of funds for sloth imports or taxpayer-funded trips to gas station restaurants in Ohio," ex-Goldenblock intern Chad Remsol told ENN. "Bowzin would be a great pick based on his previous tenure as Attorney General."
Indeed, other well-placed sources indicated that incompetence was seen as a virtue to the President.
An unnamed Senate cafeteria busboy who matched with President Sopo's chauffeur on Tinder said: "Bowzin had an amazing track record of not pursuing things properly, losing track of key deliverables, and when the pressure is on, and it really counts...just making things vanish. Like himself, for instance."
Apparently, Bowzin was so qualified at being unqualified however, he never replied to the President's DMs.
Pichtonia, from all of us here at E-Mensa, congrats on 2nd place!
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