[EBC Special] The ERN Boot Camp

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The ERN Boot Camp
On 23 December 2020, an old newcomer decided to join the ERN. This is his story.

Written by Klatonia





23 December 2020

I was hanging out in Eurochat on my first day back in Europeia when a discussion about raiding and couping started up. Nonchalantly, I said something that would change my NS career forever:

Klatonia said:
I should get acquainted with couping, raiding, defending and all that shit, one day.

This did not fall on deaf ears. Then-Grand Admiral (and all-around buddy) Kazaman replied:

Kazaman said:
Join the Navy

Now, as I have admitted since I came back in 2020, I have had engagement issues in the past, so I told the Grand Admiral exactly what my problem was:

Klatonia said:
i got commitment issues

But never deterred, Kazaman had an answer ready at hand:

Kazaman said:
Sounds like a problem that boot camp can solve!

So I joined.

A few minutes later, I received a DM. It was the GA.

Kazaman said:
You now have access to some subforums of the Octagon on the regional forum. Please check the pinned threads in the ERN HQ. [...] Once you've read the Standing Orders and Guidelines on the forum, let me know if you have any questions.We can find time to talk about some basic things soon, like what a switcher puppet is and how to create and manage them.

Well hello boot camp. For a reason I still cannot fathom to this day, I attacked the reading material as if it were a nice piece of cake. I soon found out I had just signed up not for a piece of cake, but for the whole bakery. The threads described the technical aspects of Navy operations, but I had a whole lot of questions regarding the strategic implications. Some were relevant. Others, much less so, for example:

Klatonia: Does that leave Europeia vulnerable during the raid ?
Kazaman: Not at all.

Reading this back today, I wonder how loud the GA sighed.

When I realised I would have to create and manage 'puppets' arranged in 'dirty' and 'clean' categories, the first thought that came to my mind was "dammit, I’m gonna get lost just managing this thing." But I first had to create my puppet offspring. Once that was done, Kazaman asked to see one of them and commented that it looked great. I really felt like I was back in kindergarten and I had just learned how to tie my shoes. I know Kazaman meant his compliment to be encouraging, but having just read how complex operations really were, I felt… well, like a kid who was just told "GREAT JOB!" for taking his first poo on his own.

That did not address my anxiety about keeping track of all those puppets. Luckily, Kazaman next hit that issue right on the head:

Kazaman said:
Do you have a plan for keeping track of puppets you've made?

I mentioned that I would use an elaborate spreadsheet with an abundance of details. Again, Kazaman was very delicate and pedagogical explaining that I could do that if I wished, but that as long as I kept track of a (limited) number of things, it could be kept minimal and efficient.

I still tried the elaborate spreadsheet. Four months later, guess who was proven right? That’s right: not me.

That day’s boot camp ended with a supportive Grand Admiral telling me that I was now ready for the next day’s minor operation. I was ecstatic.

Then this line appeared in the chat:

Kazaman said:
Since that might be a bit more fast-paced, I'll give you a few pointers now.

Eight detailed 'pointers' followed that sentence.

My heart sank. I was too far into it to show any fear or doubt, so when the GA suggested that I practice switching before the next day’s operation, I said I would, as if my life depended on it. As 23 December came to a close, it really felt like my life, at least my NS life, depended on me not screwing up the next day.

24 December 2020, 1430z

With the missus on her way to work, I sat down and practiced switching. It was hell. I thought it would be easier with two monitors. It was still confusing. I tried with three monitors. It was still confusing, but at least I could see every window I needed.

Since I was a nervous wreck, I also wrote a 74-line procedure/walkthrough, printed it out and laid it out in front of me.

24 December 2020, 1540z

When the GA logged on, he asked how I was doing and after some chatting, told me:

Kazaman said:
some people raid on their phones if you can imagine

No, I could not imagine. At this point, my 74-line procedure seemed so… insufficient.

24 December 2020, 1650z

I actually started to sweat.

24 December 2020, 1701z

You know how they say that no training can prepare you for combat? 'They' are right. But at least good training allows you to know what you SHOULD be doing, instead of just not knowing what is to be done.

ENDORSE!
GO!

That was easy enough, maybe I worried about no-

SWITCH!
ENDORSE!

Uh-oh. I can’t find the right window. Oh I forgot to resign.

GO!

Argh! That was close! I have to figure out a better system for sw-

SWITCH!

Wait! I am still trying to figure out which puppet is next, and AH CRAP I forgot to resign again!

ENDORSE!

At this point, the whole thing becomes a blur.

GO!
SWITCH!
ENDORSE!
GO!

My next memory is Kazaman calling the end of the operation. We got five hits that day (‘twas the fifth day of Christmas, after all), and even though I cannot remember how many targets we had, I know that I only screwed up once.

In the Operation Report, Vor and Kazaman praised my performance, though there was no doubt what was responsible for that debut: the support and the training provided during the boot camp.

So the Navy looks scary from the outside, and rightfully so. The ERN also has an awesome training program and if it can turn me into a disciplined, blood-thirsty sailor, imagine what it can do for you!

 
Last edited:
You did much better on that first op than you give yourself credit for. :p

Cheers, though! Was a fun time, and this was a good read.
 
It's funny how much I can relate to this from my own first few attempts at jumping on operations. Once you know how to do something it's easy, learning (and training) how to do something that requires speed and skill like this isn't. A great write up, Klat!
 
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