EUROPEIA – As of this printing it’s all but official. With roughly five hours left of voting, it’s become clear that Falconias, Arch Chancellor of the Founderless Regions Alliance, is well on his way to becoming the next elected President of Europeia. The impending election of Mr. Falconias elicited a mostly positive but quite varied reaction from the Europeian populace.
One Senator who requested not to be named called it a “travesty of the worst kind,” also remarking that “[Falconias’s election] is a dire consequence of us not banning him from the region for treason when we should have”.
“Back in my day,” he told The Observer, “we’d have never let the region’s political scene degenerate like this”.
But going by the numbers, it seems that just about sixty-five percent of the region disagrees with the honorable Senator.
The President-Elect graciously made himself available for this interview despite his busy schedule. When asked about his vision of the future of the region, he had a lot to say. “My plan for the region is to dispel the republic, and establish myself as dictator. Once I have firmly cemented myself as leader of Europeia, I will cut all relations with The New Inquisition and rename the Navy the Europeian People's Jihad. We will invade every piece of The New Inquisition in the name of the glorious FRA from their region to their mother's panty drawer. Then, I will fake my own death in spectacular fashion and disappear as a legend.”
He also dismissed allegations that the Europeian Cult of Falconias party was in fact a terrorist organization, saying as he has before that it is purely a promotional vehicle and for the entertainment of the region. “But since I’m about to be elected President, the Cult will probably be doing things a little differently,” he said. Ideas were thrown out such as the weekly sacrifice of virgins and the public flogging and execution of “infidels”.
When asked about his allegations of treason and his trustworthiness in general, he declined to comment.
In conclusion, the people had reached a general consensus that they are excited about the change in administration. What kind of excited they are, though, we’re about to find out.
One Senator who requested not to be named called it a “travesty of the worst kind,” also remarking that “[Falconias’s election] is a dire consequence of us not banning him from the region for treason when we should have”.
“Back in my day,” he told The Observer, “we’d have never let the region’s political scene degenerate like this”.
But going by the numbers, it seems that just about sixty-five percent of the region disagrees with the honorable Senator.
The President-Elect graciously made himself available for this interview despite his busy schedule. When asked about his vision of the future of the region, he had a lot to say. “My plan for the region is to dispel the republic, and establish myself as dictator. Once I have firmly cemented myself as leader of Europeia, I will cut all relations with The New Inquisition and rename the Navy the Europeian People's Jihad. We will invade every piece of The New Inquisition in the name of the glorious FRA from their region to their mother's panty drawer. Then, I will fake my own death in spectacular fashion and disappear as a legend.”
He also dismissed allegations that the Europeian Cult of Falconias party was in fact a terrorist organization, saying as he has before that it is purely a promotional vehicle and for the entertainment of the region. “But since I’m about to be elected President, the Cult will probably be doing things a little differently,” he said. Ideas were thrown out such as the weekly sacrifice of virgins and the public flogging and execution of “infidels”.
When asked about his allegations of treason and his trustworthiness in general, he declined to comment.
In conclusion, the people had reached a general consensus that they are excited about the change in administration. What kind of excited they are, though, we’re about to find out.
