The Final Answer to the Great Sandwich Debate
Found With Help of the Council of Foreign Affairs
Written by Councilor of Coordination Peeps
A few weeks ago, Monkey asked all of our Senatorial Candidates, What is a sandwich? To assist us with the quest to find the definition of a sandwich, they provided the lovely graph shown here. As this was a topic to debate, in the great spirit of Europeia, many people weighed in. In the end, we were quite divided on the issue, with no one answer receiving close to a majority.
Thus, we needed some outside help. With the assistance of our Ambassador Corps, the Council of Coordination got eleven regions' worth of data on this vital issue, to finally put this debate to rest once and for all. In no particular order, we received data from the Land of Kings and Emperors, the Union of Democratic States, Forest, Wintreath, the International Democratic Union, The South Pacific, Kantrias, The East Pacific, the United Kingdom, The Communist Bloc, and The West Pacific. Some regions provided more data, or data in a different format than others, but for the purposes of this analysis, all votes are weighted equally. The one disclaimer that we must give is that The East Pacific (TEP) conducted their debate over discord reactions, so it is quite plausible that there were a few dual voters. Due to this, TEP votes will be listed alongside the total vote count. So, without further ado, the results of the official Europeian Sandwich Debate, Foreign Edition.
All further content is genuine satire and should be treated as such, direct any complaints to the author via carrier pigeon.
The Sandwich Square is made up of nine spaces along two axes. The first is the structure axis, which defines how close a sandwich is to a BLT in terms of its structure. Structure does not take into consideration what baked product makes up the outside of a sandwich, but it must be baked product. Second, we have the ingredients axis, this takes into account all of the things inside of the sandwich, and how close they are to traditional sandwich ingredients. Thus, the stage is set, and it is time to break down each section of the Sandwich Square.
Our first category is hardline sandwich traditionalists. Eleven votes were registered in this category, nine of which were from TEP. Hardline traditionalists occupy one of the corners of the sandwich square, and are obstinate in their narrow-minded definition of a sandwich, disqualifying even subs and chip buttys from their narrow-minded, backwards definition of a sandwich. Not much else can be said about this conservative definition of a sandwich, other than it is completely and totally wrong.
The second category is those who require a sandwich to be structurally pure, but are neutral on the ingredients included. Sixteen votes were lodged for this option, with fourteen coming from TEP. This category is interesting as it has very few non-TEP votes, but it has the most TEP votes. Due to this it is the most popular category, it seems that TEP has particular taste when it comes to their sandwiches. This category is flawed as it disqualifies the ice cream sandwich, something that is so obviously a sandwich that sandwich is in the name.
The third category is those who require structural purism, but do not care what is inside the sandwich. This category received nine votes, five from TEP. This category is the opposite of the previous one, with TEP making up only half of the votes of this category. TEP continues its particular sandwich tastes with this category. While this category is a step in the right direction from the previous ones, it disqualifies subs, which are clearly sandwiches.
Fourth, we have ingredient purists who are structural neutrals. Sixteen votes were lodged in this category, ten from TEP. This category receives all but two of its votes from TEP and the International Democratic Union. The author finds every category in the ingredient purist category ridiculous, sandwiches are not defined by the content of their insides, but rather the structure of their exterior.
Fifth, we have the true neutrals. Thirteen votes were received in this category, five from TEP, and three from Kantrias. These voters can be equated to nations which are inoffensive centrist democracies. Ninety percent of them are mere puppets of better options, and are too cowardly to make up their minds. Besides that, a hot dog is clearly not a sandwich, a hot dog is a hot dog.
Sixth, we have ingredient rebels who are structural neutrals. Only five votes were lodged in this category, with two each coming from TEP and The Land of Kings and Emperors. This is the least appealing category, it seems that NationStates is not kind to these ice cream taco lovers. Which, in all fairness, is a fair group of people not to be kind to, as ice cream tacos are simply discount ice cream sandwiches.
Seventh, another one of our oddball corners, ingredient purists who are structure rebels. Six votes were received in this category, five from TEP. This is the second least preferred category, only behind option six. These people need to get their act together, it is clear that a wrap, which is made in a tortilla, is not a sandwich.
The eighth category we have is ingredient neutrals who are structural rebels. This category received five votes, three from TEP. This ties our sixth category for being the least appealing category. Not much can be said about this middling group of individuals, besides that they really like burritos.
Ninth, we have true sandwich anarchists. This is a group so maligned that one comment advocated burning them at the stake. Nine votes, six from TEP were received in this category. The nerve of these people to believe that a fully enclosed vessel of jam is a sandwich cannot be understated. The author might concur with the commenter that this group needs to be taught a lesson.
With all of that, this lovely graph is born.
Despite all of the data we collected, clearly, there is no winner from these options, and, in the author's incredibly humble opinion, none of these options satisfactorily answers the question. To do this, we must think outside of the sandwich square.
Thus, the author has arrived at this standard, which was supported by one commenter. Allow any structurally pure sandwich, and subs. Obviously a sub is a sandwich, this is a fact of life, and anyone who disagrees is clearly a sheeple of the machine. However, an ice cream sandwich is also obviously a sandwich, the word sandwich is in the name. Finally, a hot dog is a hot dog, not a sandwich, which should be evident to anyone with a frontal lobe. Thus, we must combine the two and create the true definition of a sandwich. “Anything with two distinct pieces of bread/baked product and something in between, or a sub, which shall be defined as a sandwich made up of traditional sandwich ingredients, with two connected pieces of bread/baked product.”
This finally puts to rest this age-long discussion, and the author hopes that it never comes up again, given that a satisfactory answer has been reached. However, like the terrible zombie that is this debate, it will surely rise from the grave again.
LKE:
structural neutral, ingredient purist.
Hardline traditionalist and Structural neutral-ingredient purist
structure purists and ingredient rebels.
structure neutral + ingredient rebel.
structurally neutral, but ingredient purist.
Ingredient Purist above everything else, the structure can vary.
hardline traditionalist.
UDS:
I personally am in the Structural Neutral, Ingredient "Rebel" camp. Seeing as an ice cream sandwich is literally called a sandwich, I find that it can be any reasonable quantity and type of ingredients; and a sub is often called a sub sandwich, so I believe any reasonable "sandwich-like" pairing is acceptable.
I'm generally structpure ingredient rebel, but I do consider foods under the structneutral ingredient pure category sandwiches. So a sub is a sandwich, as is an ice cream sandwich, but a hot dog is not a sandwich.
I am personally a structural rebel, ingredient neutral.
Wintreath:
IDU:
Structural Neutral, Ingredient Neutral
Structure Neutral, Ingredient Purist
Structure Neutral, ingredient purist.
And as a side note, any radical sandwich anarchists should be burned at the stake.
Structural Neutral, ingredient purist for me
Structure Purist, Ingredient Neutral for me
Structure Neutral, Ingredient Purist
Forest:
I’m an ingredient rebel but a structure purist.
TSP:
Structural purist, ingredient rebel.
Kantrias:
I've never thought about it before, but I do believe a hotdog to be a sandwich. After all, last I checked, anything between two slices of bread constitutes a sandwich.
I agree with [answer one] on this....
By all simple and technical definitions, and sandwich is something between two slices of bread. By this logic, hamburgers are indeed sandwiches, which is true and correct. Tacos and Quesadillas are not, because a tortilla does not count as "bread," and it's more of a wrap than two separate slices of a material like bread.
In its essence, a hotdog is essentially just a sideways sandwich. It doesn't really matter which way you eat it, a sandwich is a sandwich.
TEP:
UK:
I find myself somewhere on the scale between structural neutral/ingredient purist and structural purist/ingredient neutral, as I think a sub and definitely a chip butty are sandwiches, but a hot dog is taking things too far.
Hardline Traditionalist!
True neutral. A pop tart is ravioli.
True neutral. A pop tart is ravioli.
True neutral. A pop tart is ravioli.
TCB:
Structural neutral, ingrediant rebel
Radical sandwich anarchist
structure neutral, ingredient purist
structural purist, ingredient rebel
"A taco and burrito are sandwiches"
TWP:
I identify myself as a structural neutral ingredient purist.
I identify myself as a structural neutral ingredient purist.
structural neutral, ingredient purist.
Hardline traditionalist and Structural neutral-ingredient purist
structure purists and ingredient rebels.
structure neutral + ingredient rebel.
structurally neutral, but ingredient purist.
Ingredient Purist above everything else, the structure can vary.
hardline traditionalist.
UDS:
I personally am in the Structural Neutral, Ingredient "Rebel" camp. Seeing as an ice cream sandwich is literally called a sandwich, I find that it can be any reasonable quantity and type of ingredients; and a sub is often called a sub sandwich, so I believe any reasonable "sandwich-like" pairing is acceptable.
I'm generally structpure ingredient rebel, but I do consider foods under the structneutral ingredient pure category sandwiches. So a sub is a sandwich, as is an ice cream sandwich, but a hot dog is not a sandwich.
I am personally a structural rebel, ingredient neutral.
Wintreath:
IDU:
Structural Neutral, Ingredient Neutral
Structure Neutral, Ingredient Purist
Structure Neutral, ingredient purist.
And as a side note, any radical sandwich anarchists should be burned at the stake.
Structural Neutral, ingredient purist for me
Structure Purist, Ingredient Neutral for me
Structure Neutral, Ingredient Purist
Forest:
I’m an ingredient rebel but a structure purist.
TSP:
Structural purist, ingredient rebel.
Kantrias:
I've never thought about it before, but I do believe a hotdog to be a sandwich. After all, last I checked, anything between two slices of bread constitutes a sandwich.
I agree with [answer one] on this....
By all simple and technical definitions, and sandwich is something between two slices of bread. By this logic, hamburgers are indeed sandwiches, which is true and correct. Tacos and Quesadillas are not, because a tortilla does not count as "bread," and it's more of a wrap than two separate slices of a material like bread.
In its essence, a hotdog is essentially just a sideways sandwich. It doesn't really matter which way you eat it, a sandwich is a sandwich.
TEP:
UK:
I find myself somewhere on the scale between structural neutral/ingredient purist and structural purist/ingredient neutral, as I think a sub and definitely a chip butty are sandwiches, but a hot dog is taking things too far.
Hardline Traditionalist!
True neutral. A pop tart is ravioli.
True neutral. A pop tart is ravioli.
True neutral. A pop tart is ravioli.
TCB:
Structural neutral, ingrediant rebel
Radical sandwich anarchist
structure neutral, ingredient purist
structural purist, ingredient rebel
"A taco and burrito are sandwiches"
TWP:
I identify myself as a structural neutral ingredient purist.
I identify myself as a structural neutral ingredient purist.
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