A Culinary Interview
With Darkslayer
Written by Xecrio
On Tuesday 22 June, the Europeian Broadcasting Corporation (EBC) conducted an interview with Europeia's pickiest eater, Darkslayer, to find out once and for all what his culinary tastes are. During the interview, we discovered his favourite and least favourite foods, international dishes, and found out some more about his cooking habits. Most importantly, the interview delved into the ancient question: why is Darkslayer such a picky eater?
The interview began with a simple question. Its mission was to determine Darkslayer's favourite and least favourite foods. For the former, Mr Slayer pointed out that the question was "very difficult." He indicated that he could have chosen a more exciting food such as "pigs in blankets, or cheese and mushroom pasta," but in a true reflection of himself, he went with the boring answer and informed the interviewer that his favourite food is a burger. For the latter, Darkslayer began by starting the obvious replying, "Well, that again is difficult because I hate a lot of foods equally." Once he had finished stating the obvious, Darkslayer informed us that his least favourite food was any form of seafood, but "especially tuna." He later went on to explain how it is the grossest food in existence and "cannot understand how others like it."
Darkslayer is perhaps known for his cooking habits, particularly his decision to cook boiled cardboard with water at 2 am. Darkslayer first indicated that one of his favourite foods to cook are brownies. He further pointed out that he baked "80 individually designed cupcakes for his grandfather's 80th birthday." Well, now you know who to call when you want cupcakes for your grandfather's birthday. We later discovered that Darkslayer spends his days "in his office, for the most part, sending emails, answering calls, attending meetings, etc." With this answer, we can now understand why Darkslayer makes such a racket at 2 am every morning cooking a"cheese and ham omelette," which he later specified was one of his favourite foods to cook in addition to those delicious brownies.
Despite covid rules, Darkslayer and I got to the nearest flight to Italy, to find out what his favourite international cuisine was. He was very direct here, informing the interviewer that "it has to be pizza." He went on to explain how the Italians have won him over, and that bolognese "isn't bad either." Well done Sopo, your country's international food is Darkslayer's favourite. That's quite an achievement. We then reversed the question to discover what his least favourite international dish was. His answer to this question was a lot less straightforward than the previous, with the beginning of his answer explaining that it was hard to choose because he "hates a lot of them." Following a few seconds of pondering, he finally indicated that the Greek cuisine was his least favourite, "while also saying Mexican food and Asian food," adding on to his hatred of international cuisine.
After we discovered that Darkslayer hates most international food, the interview went on to determine what the strangest food Darkslayer has ever eaten was. Darkslayer went on to continue his hatred for food and Liverpudlians by informing the interviewer of a good called "scouse" To prevent the interviewers face from remaining in an eternally puzzled look, he explained that it was "a type of stew which usually contains some sort of meat, like lamb or beef, with potatoes and onion."
Finally, the interviewer set out on a mission to find out, once and for all, why the interviewee was such a fussy eater. He explained that he enjoyed a variety of food when he was younger, but after "the NHS gave me a milkshake to help me being underweight," his taste buds changed. He explained that he didn't think this was the sole factor and mentioned that growing up may also have had some effect on his culinary opinions. There you have it, folks. Unless you want to be stuck eating cardboard and cooking at stupid times, don't drink a milkshake given to you by someone dressed in blue.
