Whitmark,
There is no shame in admitting you need to seek help, I struggled with it once myself and trust me, you need to disengage from this and go and see someone. Else you while eventually find that there is no where on this game you can go. As I said, there is no shame in seeking assistance and the healing process can only begin by an admission that you need help. Please, do whats best for you, disengage from this game for a while and go and see someone. You will find yourself infinitely better off for it in the long term.