Advocating for Success:
An Interview with JayDee One Year On
Interview conducted by Istillian
One year ago, the Europeian Broadcasting Corporation (EBC) concluded Project Athena, a series of interviews with NationStates players sharing their experiences with neurodiversity. Among the interviewees in Project Athena was JayDee Bonaparte, the Emperor of Merciam. JayDee shared his experience with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, more commonly known as ADHD. ADHD is often characterised by symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity, where people often face difficulties balancing work, leisure time, and family time and connections.
“Each struggle is different, we all have a different history of pain that we've had to overcome to get where we are today.” - JayDee
Since that time, much has changed in the NationStates game, but this particular player has reached heights beyond even their own expectations. In today's interview, the EBC spoke with JayDee again, this time not as the Emperor of Merciam but as a longstanding citizen of Europeia. His array of roles, including former Minister of Communications, Radio, and Interior, Councillor of World Assembly Affairs, former Senate Speaker, eight-time elected Senator, and three-time President of Europeia, provide a unique perspective on the evolving dynamics within the NationStates and Europeian community, and as someone living with ADHD.
Hi JayDee, it’s lovely to speak with you on this topic once again!
JayDee: Thank you, Ist, I’m so happy to be able to do this with you
I must say, how does it feel sitting here as President after so many years in Europeia?
JayDee: Well as you’ve already mentioned, it’s beyond even my own expectation. I recall in our last interview that I’d basically given up on being President of Europeia because of schedule conflicts and my past history. I’m beyond grateful every day that I’ve been given this opportunity by the Citizens of Europeia to lead such an incredible region, and to be elected three times no less! I truly love what I do, and while I intend to step down after this term, I’m sure I’ll be wanting to come back for more some day.
One thing that really rings true for me is that when I'm balancing my family time, hobbies, and work priorities well, it really helps with my quality of life - how would you say you've managed these things in such a demanding role as President?
JayDee: Honestly? Sometimes I just haven’t really managed them well, one thing gets ahead of the other and it’s a real nightmare to get things back in balance. I’ve gotten better though, so more often than not I’m able to stay on top of things and make sure no one thing overwhelms me. It’s about giving adequate time for everything and making sure to have a proper hierarchy of priority. For example, my hierarchy would be Work, Friends/Life/Gym, NS, Personal time.
I’m usually able to have plenty of time for all of these, but sometimes one will cut into the other and it’s important to keep sights on what’s truly important. Yea, being President is great, but being President won’t get me friends who I can hang out with on weekends. Sometimes it’s about sacrifices too, some projects have been delayed because I simply didn’t have the time to address them adequately while spending time with family or being busy with work/etc.
One of the more commonly known attributes of ADHD is hyperfixation, or becoming fully immersed in something of interest. Would you say this trait is something you experience, and if so, how does it affect you?
JayDee: Well yea, I play NS after all
Seriously though, hyperfixation is a big struggle for me. Hyperfixation has been both a tool and a weapon, something I can use to my benefit but also something that ends up hurting me. For example, I got myself a PS5 for my birthday and for the first few days I basically forgot all my other priorities after work because I was busy playing with it. I’ve managed to tone it down now but it ended up cutting into Gym and NS time which are both very important to my mental health/ability to get away from work stuff.I’ve gotten better at more quickly recognizing when I’m getting into a harmful pattern, which is part of why I’ve been able to last up until now without burning out when in the past I was burnt out after one term. I still vividly recall my infamous MinComm term; I didn’t know how to properly prioritise things so everything was a priority (except sleep), which resulted in my frequently staying up until 3AM with a 6AM wake up. That led to me crashing and burning quite spectacularly, something I have done well to avoid.
One of the challenging dynamics of ADHD is that of receiving criticism, where often, our first instinct is to be defensive or even aggressive towards comments that feel like disapproval. As President, how have you managed to combat the weight of criticism in the role from both outside players, and citizens of Europeia?
JayDee: This is probably one of those most challenging issues I have faced. I can think of a pretty recent example where this was a big struggle. I know everyone has their own reason to hate campaigning, but this last campaign cycle for my third term is probably the most miserable I’ve been in this entire game since my aforementioned crash and burn. It wasn’t because of RoE, I want to make it emphatically clear that that whole thing, while hurtful at first, did not contribute to the actual issue.
There were a lot of people painting me as aggressive, elitist, and even villainizing me for “standing in the way of a new face.” All the while, the same people were criticising me for my Cabinet choices, many of whom were new faces. I wasn’t trying to come across as aggressive or elitist, but I’ve historically had problems with the things I say being interpreted differently than intended. Some of it can be written off as politicking, but it’s an issue I deal with both in NS and with my friends and even family.
I’ve been very lucky to have an emotional support network to help me make sense of my feelings and make sure I come to logical conclusions instead of knee jerk reactions. I’ve been especially blessed for all three of my VPs, who provided an ear for many of my emotional rants which helped me make sense of what I was actually feeling. I haven’t gotten past that first instinct, I’ve just gotten better at acknowledging it and releasing it in a healthy manner rather than the destructive manner I used to.
Adults with ADHD often have an increased risk of feeling lonely, and even get stuck in self-destructive or self-defeating behaviour, something you spoke about somewhat in our last interview. What support structure have you put in place for yourself to help you achieve your goals, and what advice would you give to others that feel that feeling of being stuck and alone?
JayDee: This still happens to me sometimes. I used to “fix” it by essentially punishing myself and knocking myself down for my poor habits. Sometimes I still slip into that spiral, but I usually know better now than to let those thoughts dominate my conscious. Instead, I’ve found the best way to stop the spiral of self-destruction is to stop. I should be clear that just because this works for me, I would highly recommend NOT using this advice for one of your friends who has ADHD. It is not a simple matter of just stopping what I’m doing anymore than it’s simple for a Depressed person to just “be happy.”
Stopping the destructive spiral requires incredible effort, self-reflection, and some meditation. Sometimes I set an alarm, and once the alarm goes off I must complete a certain task, other times it’s a matter of not even giving my brain a chance to second guess itself and simply doing something else, more often it’s just a matter of me sitting around until I stop thinking and start doing.
However, it’s also important to recognize I’m not alone, I have support networks both RL and in NS. Just like Pichto, Rand, and now Vor have been great for helping me make sense of my emotional rants, they’ve also been great for keeping me on task and preventing me from getting overwhelmed. In RL I have my peers and my friends to spend time with and just get away from the bad thoughts in general. I don’t think any of them know I have ADHD, it’s just a matter of them being present in my life and knowing that they support me.
What is something to you that is beautiful about how ADHDers adapt, and how has this helped you thrive?
JayDee: Being adaptable is a must in this position, nothing ever truly goes to plan in a term. The reality is, writing a platform is about 80-90% useless (closer to 90% with a truncated term like this
), you have to be able to understand what your priorities are and be willing to accept that you can’t have everything your way. At the same time, even as someone with ADHD, I recognize that it’s important to have some semblance of a plan because - try as I might - you simply can’t wing 100% of a 70 day term.There are times when my adaptability is a hindrance though. There have been times in the past few terms where I’ve wanted to try out a new idea but it wasn’t something I was elected on so it’s rather difficult to get any traction for it. You kinda have to know all your major ideas in advance, but I usually come up with ideas on the fly and just move from one to the next to see what works.
We mentioned hyperfixation, but to you, how do you know when it's time to slow down and take a break, and how do you do this without feeling too burnt out?
JayDee: It’s not exactly like a planner, but I essentially have a mental task of things I need to do versus would like to do. For example, when I’m doing President stuff, I basically go down the list of Commissions and Ministries to see what they’re doing, how things are shaping up, and where I’m needed in order to help. Once I’ve done all that I move on to the next task, but I don’t abandon my Presidential duties entirely, I still remain available and check the forums/DMs for any place where I’m needed. I will usually conduct this process at least twice a day, depending on time and projects I’m working on.
What is something that you hope players remember your Presidential term by in the years to come?
JayDee: Hopefully not all the resignations D: I hope to be remembered as someone who did what they believed was right, made the tough decisions for the betterment of the community. There have been some low lows in the 160+ days I’ve been in office so far, but I’ve always had people by my side to support me and I’ve always managed to make the decisions that I believed were best for the community even if they weren’t fun decisions.
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