Rach Was Right: Writinglegend Isn't Running Interior, Political Suicide Imminent
For a long time now the Europeian public has speculated that the Ministry of Interior hasn't been run by it's new ministers, but rather by an old member that simply refuses to stop performing the duties they perfected terms ago. Cpt. Carrot suffered from such stifling oversight, and Rach correctly predicted that Writinglegend would follow suit. Eager beaver Writinglegend posted a a vigorous beginning of term speech that tried to assuage concerns over his actual participation in the Ministry, but Faux News sources have revealed that his role is actually no more than Wal Mart greeter.
A source who wishes to remain undisclosed, but was paid for her interview in cheese, stated "Writinglegend may talk a big deal about reforms for the Ministry and what he plans to do, but Drecq is the one still running the show. Nobody can run his patented Punch A Newcomer in the Face program like he can, and he won't allow anyone else to take over. Yesterday Writinglegend tried to punch a newcomer in the face, but the newcomer barely felt it. Then Drecq stormed over, double punched Writinglegend in the face, called him a noob, and proceeded to punch the actual newcomer so hard she landed square in the EAAC. We're expecting she'll be next term's MoFA. I'd express sympathy over the position I put Writinglegend in but let's be honest, the region had to choose between him and Calvin at some point. Having two identical people in two identical positions was getting confusing. Poor Malashaan had to take three aspirin last week when I tried explaining to him the differences between the two."
Faux News contacted Calvin Coolidge for comment, being the other twin, but he declined an interview, stating "I'm sorry, I only actually do these things when I'm the one writing them. I'm not very good at being written by other people."
So far no comment from the Minister himself, Writinglegend, but sobbing has been heard coming from his office in the MoI, and the Minister has been seen reading Albert Camus's The Myth of Sisyphus.
Anumia Gets Crotch Ants
While participating in the Liberation of Anne Frank, Anumia was attacked not by Nazis, but a far worse foe, crotch ants. It is unsure whether the ants were trained by Nazis as some part of insectoid cavalry, or if they were some kind of new sexual disease he picked up in further expanding his already gargantuan family. Needless to say the marble statue is currently in quarantine while his infected area awaits treatment. Rumor has it that after being exposed to his corrosive ego for so long, the crotch ants have become faithful, and are now worshiping his "mini statue" as a deity.
Editor's Note: The Anumia story is actually true. At least the part about his crotch being attacked by an ant during the liberation :lol:
For a long time now the Europeian public has speculated that the Ministry of Interior hasn't been run by it's new ministers, but rather by an old member that simply refuses to stop performing the duties they perfected terms ago. Cpt. Carrot suffered from such stifling oversight, and Rach correctly predicted that Writinglegend would follow suit. Eager beaver Writinglegend posted a a vigorous beginning of term speech that tried to assuage concerns over his actual participation in the Ministry, but Faux News sources have revealed that his role is actually no more than Wal Mart greeter.
A source who wishes to remain undisclosed, but was paid for her interview in cheese, stated "Writinglegend may talk a big deal about reforms for the Ministry and what he plans to do, but Drecq is the one still running the show. Nobody can run his patented Punch A Newcomer in the Face program like he can, and he won't allow anyone else to take over. Yesterday Writinglegend tried to punch a newcomer in the face, but the newcomer barely felt it. Then Drecq stormed over, double punched Writinglegend in the face, called him a noob, and proceeded to punch the actual newcomer so hard she landed square in the EAAC. We're expecting she'll be next term's MoFA. I'd express sympathy over the position I put Writinglegend in but let's be honest, the region had to choose between him and Calvin at some point. Having two identical people in two identical positions was getting confusing. Poor Malashaan had to take three aspirin last week when I tried explaining to him the differences between the two."
Faux News contacted Calvin Coolidge for comment, being the other twin, but he declined an interview, stating "I'm sorry, I only actually do these things when I'm the one writing them. I'm not very good at being written by other people."
So far no comment from the Minister himself, Writinglegend, but sobbing has been heard coming from his office in the MoI, and the Minister has been seen reading Albert Camus's The Myth of Sisyphus.
Anumia Gets Crotch Ants
While participating in the Liberation of Anne Frank, Anumia was attacked not by Nazis, but a far worse foe, crotch ants. It is unsure whether the ants were trained by Nazis as some part of insectoid cavalry, or if they were some kind of new sexual disease he picked up in further expanding his already gargantuan family. Needless to say the marble statue is currently in quarantine while his infected area awaits treatment. Rumor has it that after being exposed to his corrosive ego for so long, the crotch ants have become faithful, and are now worshiping his "mini statue" as a deity.
Editor's Note: The Anumia story is actually true. At least the part about his crotch being attacked by an ant during the liberation :lol:
