Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the second edition of the one, the only... The Potato. Tonight we will be covering some very serious and very grave news regarding the state of the Republic and its governance.
Vice President Embroiled In Civil Suit
Earlier today, the Europeian Citizen, an independent media outlet, published an editorial in which Vice President Common-Sense Politics was quoted as saying a former citizen had illegally used Europeia's recruiting software to help another region. The same newspaper later broke that this developing scandal was actually just a software issue, and that former citizen Andrew Jefferson was not in fact recruiting for another region. Mr. CSP proceeded to file suit against the newspaper, claiming he never in fact said those things.
Unfortunately for our region's second-in-command, the Citizen is actually owned by none other than... You guessed it, Common-Sense Politics. Upon filing the civil suit for libel against his own paper, Mr. CSP fired himself from the position of editor-in-chief of the publication.
How exactly the Vice President intends to assume both the party of the plaintiff and defendant in a civil case regarding an article he wrote remains to be seen, and Chief Justice Abbey Anumia declined to comment on the nature of the proceedings.
Senate Vacancies Prompt Election of Statue
As this paper had reported before, the recent Kraken attacks had debilitated the region's legislature, but thankfully this issue has been recently taken care of. A by-election for the seats of the deceased Senators saw two staples of the region take up the mantel in PhDre and Abbey Anumia, as well as a third, more solitary presence. The write-in vote on ballots turned up something rather unexpected, and the Europeian public had in fact decided to elect Julian Anumia to the Senate for yet another term. The only problem, of course, is that Mr. Anumia is no longer alive. The people instead decided to elect the statue of the former President that stands prominently in front of the Goldenblock.
The Potato prides itself on being first to report that almost 70 percent of collected ballots report having the write-in box state "Statue of Anumia", instead of the two other carbon-based living candidates. What this means for the Europeian legislature is at least another few weeks of solemn looks of disapproval from the chair of a certain senior Senator, who unfortunately may not be particularly vocal about what kind of legislation he wants passed, for a variety of reasons.
It should also be noted that Potato political analysts have predicted that, barring some unfortunate public relations disaster, the statue of Mr. Anumia will likely continue to be elected for office as long as, if you will pardon the pun, it stands.
